(Minghui.org) I noticed that some fellow practitioners are very active and serious when they work on projects to validate the Fa, but they are usually not able to handle well their relationship with family members and relatives. Some even have strenuous relationships, which they are very upset about. Through sharing experiences with them, I noticed that they have one thing in common. That is, they all think that their family members and relatives have predestined relationships with Dafa and they should obtain the Fa. They put pressure on them to meet high standards of conduct and these practitioners think that is how their family members and relatives can be saved. Therefore, these practitioners intervene and restrict their family and relatives too much. Sometimes they said certain things on too high a level and went to extremes, which resulted in conflicts.

Of course we need to spread the Fa to our families, but they are everyday people after all. If we use Dafa, which is far higher than the principles in the human world, to measure their actions, then we are going to extremes. Not only can we not save them, we might even hurt them. I think that if we can balance our family environment by using the Fa principles, we can also save sentient beings.

I will now share my personal experiences in regards to balancing well family relationships.

My wife has a strong personality, just like a man. After July 20, 1999, she was strongly opposed to my continuing the practice and she caused a lot of interference for me. She did not listen to me when I told her the facts. Sometimes her anger towards me reached an unreasonable degree. Thus, I was very depressed. Master said: “Under all circumstances, we must be good and kind to others, not to mention to our family members.” (Zhuan Falun, Lecture Six)

I came to understand that my family also provides me with an environment for my cultivation. The worse the environment, the bigger the test for me. Thus, I maintained the state of a cultivator and avoided getting too upset. In addition, I started to talk less and do more. After work, besides studying the Fa and doing the exercises, I spent most of my time doing housework with my wife. Of course, I do not do this to appease her, but to cultivate my kindness and compassion, and through my behavior I want to help her understand the truth of Dafa. For example, I get up early and do the exercises. Then I prepare breakfast and clean the room. I always serve the food to her first before I get my own. When she became angry I didn't get upset. Instead, I tried to calm her down with a smile. Through these little things, I have truly developed the habit of considering others first. Slowly, after a long period of cultivating myself in this way, she started to change, from regularly getting angry at me to rarely getting angry at me. She used to oppose my studying the Fa and doing the exercises, but gradually she began to remind me to do the exercises at times. She used to object when I talked to fellow practitioners, yet now warmly receives them when they come to our home. Currently, she praises me in front of her colleagues and friends and tells them that Dafa is great. Thus, our family is very harmonious. She no longer gets upset when I tell her about the Fa, and she no longer objects when I persuade others in front of her to quit the CCP's organizations. Sometimes, she even helps me to persuade others to quit.

During the cultivation process of balancing my family environment, I deeply appreciate that we are not doing earth-shattering things. Instead, we are cultivating ourselves in small and trivial things, which happen around us. Family is the most basic unit of the human world. It is also the most basic environment for our cultivation. If we are not able to balance this environment well and save sentient beings around us, how can we say we have cultivated well? When everyone around us is saying that we are good people, then aren't they recognizing Falun Gong? Aren't they all saved? Thus, balancing our family environment well is also saving sentient beings.

This is my own understanding. Please point out anything that is not in accordance with the Fa.