(Minghui.org) I have been studying the Fa since 2005, and to be truthful I have not been a diligent practitioner. I can now see clearly that my cultivation has been slowly deteriorating over a long period of time, and that demons have been able to interfere with me because of my loopholes. One incorrect thought nearly led to disastrous consequences, but has provided me with a good lesson on how serious cultivation is.
I have always registered with a doctor in my local area whenever I moved houses. But when I last moved over 4 years ago I didn’t bother, as I believed that as a practitioner it wasn’t important and that I didn’t need one anyway. However, a thought crept into my mind a few months ago, that it might be a good idea to register with a local doctor. This thought slowly manifested into thinking that if I am ever ill from work and needed to take time off, I might need a doctor’s note. Along with this, sensations I felt in my body started me thinking that I may be developing illnesses. I can now see the gradual shift in thinking: from a practitioner eliminating sickness karma, to that of an everyday person experiencing illness.
A few weeks ago, I began to feel a few twinges around my heart after meals. I monitored the situation for about a week and noticed them getting stronger and more frequent. I do enjoy the food my wife cooks and have been putting on weight for quite a while. I decided to tell my wife, also a practitioner, about the pains and asked her if she would reduce my food. We also went out and bought some fish oil capsules to help reduce the fat build-up around my heart. I told her that my chest was feeling tight and the ribs around my heart area were bruised. I am only 42, and began to feel scared. I started to fear the worst, expecting to have a heart attack any day soon. My wife spoke with a Chinese doctor, also a practitioner, and they came to the conclusion that I had invited demons with my thoughts being improper, and that I had put myself in a very dangerous situation.
I went to work the following day and felt my chest becoming tighter. I started to send righteous thoughts to relieve the pain and asked Master for help. I just wanted to make it through the day and get back home to read and study the Fa. When I was reading one of Master’s lectures I had strong thoughts about dying, and would try to hold back my tears. I was also having strong emotions for my wife and kept wondering what I needed to do to keep her safe if I passed away. My wife later shared her understanding with me on how I should deny the old forces and eliminate the interference. I listened to her, but my mind was all over the place and feeling pity for myself.
I had a dream that night where I was at a Shen Yun performance. I was walking around during the break and saw two of my old work colleagues, whom I haven’t seen for over 10 years. They had brought their children to watch the show. I didn’t speak to them, but was very pleased to see them there.
When I woke up I knew that I wanted to save people. I was full of confidence and sent strong righteous thoughts. Strong righteous thoughts is something I had not experienced for a long time, as my mind always seemed to drift when I sent forth righteous thoughts before. I had even really lost the point of doing it. But now it was different. When sending righteous thoughts I asked Master for help and denied the old forces' arrangements, saying that I would only follow Master.
My wife woke up a little later, and told me that she had a bad dream. She said that she could see clearly a demon’s hand holding a knife, violently stabbing my heart. There were some other nasty scenes as well. I told my wife that I must have done some really bad things in my previous lives and now it was payback time. I immediately thought from the Fa and my mind was even more clear, as I now knew why I was experiencing these pains. My wife told me that when I send forth righteous thoughts I should say to the demon, “If you want to be saved you should assimilate with the Fa, and my Master will offer you benevolent solutions. I am a Falun Dafa practitioner and need to save people. If you try to interfere with me I will eliminate you.”
With just this one thought of wanting to follow Master, everything changed in an instant. For months, maybe years, there was a gradual decline in my ability to understand the Fa, which dragged me down to this dangerous level. But with just the one righteous thought, everything changed. My chest pains disappeared, and my righteous thoughts became strong and focused. How can practitioners have illness? How can we validate the Fa if we are bedridden or hospitalized? It is not what Master wants, especially at this very important stage when time is pressing.
When I was looking inward the night before I could see many problems in my cultivation and believed that it’s going to be a long arduous task to dig myself out of this hole I had gotten into. But when my thought was in line with the Fa, Master plucked me out and placed me back on the path of cultivation. Now I am in the right position and frame of mind to start to cultivate, eliminate my attachments and begin to catch up with the Fa-rectification process.
This incident is not a life and death test. It is a test of my belief in Master and the Fa, and is a significant step for me to actually start to cultivate.