(Minghui.org) I began practicing Falun Dafa in 2010. I have all kinds of feelings when I recall how I changed from being an ordinary person with many notions, to a Falun Dafa practitioner. If it were not for Master Li’s compassionate salvation, I would still be clueless of the fact that I was deep in Hell.
Before I started cultivating in Dafa, my attitude towards Falun Gong was the same as many ordinary people. I thought that Falun Gong practitioners had some kind of mental problem. I wondered, “Why do they still shout 'Falun Dafa is good' when they are arrested?” There is an old saying: “A wise man will not fight when the odds are obviously against him.” Why did Falun Gong practitioners still stand up for their belief even when they knew a bad situation was right in front of them? I did not understand their mentality at all. I even laughed at them whenever I saw flyers or money with “Falun Dafa is good” written on it.
In early 2005, I became friends with a colleague of mine, whom I shall call Mr. L. After I got to know him better, I felt that he was different from other people. He was very kind, nice, and righteous compared to other people. Many people at work had conflicts between each other. All of the co-workers liked him and they had good things to say about him. Eventually, he told me that he was a Falun Gong practitioner. I was so shocked when he told me. I told him to stop practicing Falun Gong, not because of Falun Gong itself, but because I was afraid that he was going to get himself arrested. Now I realize that those were strong human notions. My words were based on the fear I had towards the Communist Party, instead of discerning good from bad.
Although I was in contact with Mr. L, I didn’t become a practitioner even after he clarified the truth to me. I just knew that Falun Gong was not as the Communist Party described. I didn’t want to get in trouble and just wanted to live a normal life.
At the end of 2009, one of my best friends, Ms. S, was diagnosed with breast cancer. She was very young, only 34 years old. I took a taxi to visit her and the driver was not familiar with the name of the cancer hospital. After I gave him more details, he said, “Oh, you mean the hospice care center for people with terminal illness?” When I heard the word of “terminal illness,” I could not take it. I swore that I would help her overcome the cancer. I went everywhere seeking help, in hopes of finding some good doctors or a folk remedy to treat the cancer. In the end, I talked to Mr. L about this. He told me to have Ms. S try Falun Gong. I then realized that Falun Dafa could cure illness. I trusted Mr. L because we'd known each other for many years. I knew that he would not lie to me and I started to read Dafa materials.
I took a week to watch Master Li's Guangzhou lecture video series and it answered so many questions. I understood that Falun Dafa teaches people to be a kind person. It not only improves one's health but also guides a person to reach a higher level. I learned that Gods and Buddhas really do exist. In the past, I had been brainwashed by the Communist Party's propaganda and didn't believe any of this. If Master had not given me so many opportunities, I would probably still be following the trends of ordinary people on a dead-end path.
After I learned the truth, I shared what I had learned with my friend S. I was hoping that she would give it a try. But at that time, she had already decided to do surgery and there was no time for her to change her schedule. Plus, while studying the Fa I had such a strong attachment to curing illnesses. My mind was not very pure. It did not go well when I talked to S. In the end, S accepted the surgery and I accepted Dafa.
At the beginning of my cultivation, I went through a long period of confusion. Because I was unable tell my family and my colleagues, I read the book secretly and I did not share with anyone. Fellow practitioner, Mr. L, went overseas and I would call him on occasion to share a little bit, but that was very limited. I think a big obstacle for me was the atheism that I was taught at a young age. Some of the concepts that I hold very deeply are difficult to get rid of. Although I read the Fa, it seems that my heart was so far removed from it that I couldn't absorb it. Sometimes I felt so awful and really hated myself. I thought that I wasn't worthy of having gained the Fa. But, I could not give it up either. If I did, I knew that I would feel even more remorse.
Later, I read Master's lecture “Fa Teaching Given at the 2010 New York Fa Conference”,
“As you know, there is always the question of why there have been so few new Dafa disciples since the persecution started. It is precisely because the old forces locked up the entrance, and thus nobody could enter unless they had an exceptional circumstance or I specifically needed them. That is because, based on the old forces’ logic, the test has already reached its end, and the harshest period has passed; and, having arrived at the persecution’s final stages, the most sinister and treacherous environment posed by the test has already passed, and many of the evil people who were put in place have died. With that sort of evil environment being no more, those who recently entered [Dafa] will have a hard time establishing the mighty virtue that a Dafa disciple is supposed to have, and thus [the old forces] do their utmost to control [who enters].”
After I read this passage from the Fa, I started arguing with myself. One side of me said: “Master’s lecture didn't include you, how can you be worth it? You have done so many bad things over the past 30 years.” Another side of me said: “Look how lucky you are, you can gain the Fa at this moment, why don't you work harder on it? Master is very compassionate, you only need to cultivate diligently.” I thought the negative me was the fake me and an arrangement by the old forces. I knew that the positive second me was the true me and I told myself that I needed to get rid of all of the interference and take each moment to work hard. It would be an attachment if I questioned myself.
From that moment on I set my mind on practicing Falun Gong. Over a period of two to three months I clarified the truth to my husband, and he also accepted the truth and decided to practice with me. Now, our whole family, including our 5-year-old child, practices together every day and we all feel so fortunate and very happy to be practitioners.
I sincerely recommend to others that they sit down and spend a few minutes learning the truth about Falun Gong. Don't be fooled by the lies coming from the Communist Party. Make a good choice for your future.
My level is limited, please kindly point out any problems in the sharing.