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Believe in Master, Believe in the Fa to Break through Hardships

March 03, 2012 |   Narrated by Xiao Ying, a Dafa disciple from Shenyang, China

(Clearwisdom.net) In 2011, I went through a test. I'm sharing my experience here so that practitioners who encounter similar tribulations may learn from it. Please point out anything inappropriate.

1. Sudden Hardship

One day in September 2011, I suddenly suffered from diarrhea, but I did not pay too much attention to it. However, several days later, I stopped urinating. Soon after, my abdomen began hurting badly. When I went to the bathroom, what I relieved were white and shiny things that looked like saliva. I experienced significant pain and could not lie down. My stomach became bigger everyday, until I finally looked like a pregnant woman. However, my face and arms were skinny and pale.

I'm usually home alone. This sudden hardship was completely unexpected, and there was no one home to take care of me. When I had a fever, I could not stop shivering. I was only able to do the meditation exercise, and I was not able to do the standing exercises. When I tried to walk, I fell down. I knew that Dafa practitioners should not suffer from any illnesses, so what was the root cause of this condition? Because I could not lie down, I could not sleep. My celestial eye is open, and every night after mid-night, I saw demons coming to drag me away, wanting me to die. They also showed me some practitioners who were no longer practicing. Whenever those demons showed up, I eliminated them.

I remember once, when my suffering was most intense, I could no longer stand the pain. I said the words taught by Master: “'I'm Li Hongzhi's disciple, I don't want other arrangements or acknowledge them'...” (“Explaining the Fa During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference”). After that, I had one thought from my heart: “Everything is up to Master.” Immediately, those bad substances disappeared completely.

2. I Wished to Study the Fa

On the thirteenth day that I could not sleep, I became anxious. I started making calls to fellow practitioners, hoping to find somebody to study the Fa with. However, every fellow practitioner I contacted was busy. In the past, whenever I had time, I recited the Fa. This time, however, I could not even remember the Fa. Without fellow practitioners around, when I tried to study the Fa, I often became sleepy. Finally, I became so anxious that I shouted out loud, “I want to study the Fa!” I immediately felt clear-headed.

Practitioner A took a taxi and rushed over to my house as soon as she received my call. She asked me to go out with her the moment she came in. I followed her and stoop-shouldered, I walked downstairs. She said, “You need to conduct yourself like a Dafa disciple and walk with a straight back.” I thought, “That's right, my neighbors all know that I practice Falun Dafa,” so I straightened my back.

3. Staying with a Fellow Practitioner

I came to practitioner A's home and saw that several practitioners were already there waiting for me. They did not begin searching for my attachment or blame me. Instead, they compassionately encouraged me. Practitioner B came in, smiled, and said, “Perhaps it's time to raise your level.”

While fellow practitioners read Zhuan Falun, I listened. Although I was listening, I felt that something was covering my head, and I could not listen attentively. When practitioners read, “In fact, let me tell everyone that matter and mind are one thing” (Zhuan Falun), I felt that the cover broke into two pieces and I became clear-minded immediately. I knew that I understood another level of the Fa.

At lunch, I forced myself to drink half a bowl of porridge. Afterward, I had diarrhea that lasted for three to four days.

The tests came one after another. When there were signs of recovering in one area of my body, other areas such as my hands, legs and feet became swollen. But I was not affected, because I understood that as long as my spirit was not broken and I remained steadfast, the evil could not do much to me. I lived in practitioner A's home for a week. Later some practitioners suggested, “You should be considerate of others. It's time to go home.” I immediately realized that I had developed the attachment of dependency on fellow practitioners.

4. Do Not Stay Down

Even though my stomach was still big and my feet were still swollen, I returned home. As soon as I entered my home, I felt energized. I thought, “Indeed, why was I so dependent on other practitioners? I have Master!” Three to five days later, although I was still dizzy and tired, I went out to the market to do grocery shopping on my own. In my heart, I refused to acknowledge the persecution. Fellow practitioners said to me, “Do not just keep lying down.” Therefore, as long as I could walk I went out, even though every step took a lot of effort. Every time I met somebody, I told them the facts about Falun Dafa. People complimented me, saying, “You look great!” I knew that Master was using others' mouths to encourage me. With my firm belief in Dafa and Master, I recovered completely after one month.

5. Searching Inward

Upon reflection, I understood that the reason I went through this tribulation was because I had deviated from the Fa. Therefore, I began looking inward for my attachments. I identified that I had not eliminated jealousy, show-off mentality, and looking for others' mistakes instead of searching within. When I had first begun studying Zhuan Falun, I thought that after I reach Consummation, I would not have to suffer anymore and my life would not be in any danger. Now I realized that I still had not let go of this attachment. When I received compliments from others, I felt that I was better than others. Later, I even deviated from the one-body and no longer participated in any group projects. I am so thankful that I thought of other practitioners during the critical period of this test. Fellow practitioners' compassion and tolerance helped me see my own cultivation gaps.

I realized that not staying focused during Fa-study amounts to deviating from the Fa. One has to study the Fa with a calm mind. I also had another realization during this test. When I tried to eliminate the bad substances forced on me by the old forces, some of them were still in my body, and some of them also came from fellow practitioners. When I blamed or complained about practitioners, it was as though I was throwing the bad substances into practitioners' fields. Every practitioner has energy. When the bad substances build up, it causes more tribulations for everyone.

I would like to thank fellow practitioners for their help. It was the wonderful cooperation of the one-body that helped me break through this hardship. Fellow practitioners did not handle my situation with human notions. Instead of pointing fingers at me, they searched within and rectified themselves. When fellow practitioners who were not familiar with me blamed me for getting into this state, I sincerely appreciated their observations from my heart, because I could feel their sincere concern and wish that I overcome this tribulation and pass the test.

I can't express my gratitude enough to Master, who has been holding my hand and walking with me every step of my cultivation path.