(Minghui.org) In “Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa - Fa Teaching Given at the 2011 Washington DC Metro Area Fa Conference,” Master said,
“When some people read Zhuan Falun they are not concentrating, but rather, thinking about other things, and not able to focus their attention on cultivation. It thus amounts to wasting time. And not just wasting time—instead of it being the time when they are to be elevating, they are using their minds to think over issues and things that they shouldn’t concern themselves with, and thus, not only aren’t they elevating, but on the contrary, they are often dropping in level. If you don’t study the Fa well, there are many things you will not be able to do well.”
The following experience has given me a deeper understanding of the Fa. In the past, I was not focused when I studied the Fa. While I was reading, my mind was on other things. I knew this was not right, but I could not change. Because I could not concentrate, I did poorly with the three things. Master gave me hints. One time in a dream I saw a train coming and a fellow practitioner pulled me up onto the train. When I woke up, I didn’t fully understand the meaning of the dream. I boasted to a local fellow practitioner and told her I climbed up onto the train myself. It wasn't until I had a bad fall a few days ago, that my mind finally became clear about my cultivation state.
Through this experience, I looked and I found the following human attachments:
1. I was full of selfishness and had many fears. I found myself thinking that I had worked so hard for the past ten plus years. If I were arrested, I would lose the opportunity to cultivate. I was afraid of losing my human body, afraid of hardships, afraid of being misunderstood by others, afraid of being hurt, and I was afraid of losing face in front of others. Because of these fears, I was impatient when I clarified the truth. I was not very sincere and I was very picky about who I would clarify the truth to.
2. When I clarified the truth well and people withdrew from the CCP, I would instantly have the mentality of showing off and zealotry.
3. I would validate myself. Once, when I was clarifying the truth to the police chief, instead of validating the Fa, I talked about how good I was, and I went on and on. There were only two practitioners in the area where I live. The other practitioner was a lay Buddhist and illiterate before practicing Dafa. I taught her how to read word by word. She can read now, but she reads very slowly. Now, I try to avoid her and prefer to study the Fa alone. This mentality of looking down on others was far from the Fa's requirement. When I found these attachments I regretted not listening to Master’s words. I wanted to apologize to the other practitioner right away.
Recently I fell down hard, and the fall was so severe that one of my shoulders was dislocated. It was very painful. I was unable to dress myself and could only sit in bed. I could not lean on anything, and I couldn't sleep. During the daytime, I watched Master’s lecture video series and at night I listened to Master’s lectures. Five days after the fall, I thought, “I just cannot sit in bed anymore. I am a Dafa disciple, and the pain is nothing. I need to apologize to the person I hurt.” I also remembered that I needed to take a book to a worker at the construction site. I asked for Master’s help. Ignoring the pain, I put on my clothes and slowly left my home. I couldn’t find the person at the construction site, so I went to the other practitioner’s home to study the Fa.
Around 5 p.m., the fellow practitioner invited me to stay for dinner. When she brought in a bundle of vegetables to cook, I instantly remembered the last time I had picked some vegetables from a non-practitioner friend’s garden without telling him. At that moment, the words “full of great aspirations while minding minor details” (“Sage” from Essentials for Further Advancement) came into my mind. I looked inside and thought picking those vegetables without asking was the same as stealing something. As a practitioner, I needed to follow a higher standard. Although it was a minor thing, I still needed to follow the Fa's requirements. I decided that I needed to admit my mistakes to that family.
When I was thinking about all these things, my dislocated shoulder suddenly popped back into the socket. It just like a rolling ball. Instantly, I was able to move my arm. This happened so quickly that I was shocked and speechless. After a while, I told the other practitioner (who was cooking dinner) that my arm was back to normal. Master pushed the shoulder bone back to the joint socket. I could now rotate my arm. The other practitioner was very surprised. I shared what had happened to me with her. We both truly came to know that looking inside of oneself is very precious.
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