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Attachment to Self and Validating Oneself Are Walking the Path of the Old Forces

February 28, 2012 |   By a practitioner in Hubei Province, China

(Clearwisdom.net) I recently had an argument with a project coordinator when selecting truth-clarification materials for a certain project. The final truth-clarification letter had a tone of aggressiveness due to my attachments. I had concerns about the abilities of other practitioners and wanted to have a say in every piece of the truth-clarification package. When the coordinator brought this up to me, I didn't agree. I thought that my article was done well, convincing, and perfect. The article was received compliments from many fellow practitioners.

With in-depth sharing and looking inward calmly, I then realized that my attachment of validating myself was so strong! Why did I have so many concerns about others' abilities? Why did I think that my article was so well done? Wasn't this the attachment of self, thinking that I was better than others? The project coordinator once said that I was drifting further away from the Fa, but I didn't acknowledge it at the time!

When I looked inward further, I realized that I wasn't negating the old forces and that I was walking the path of the old forces. The characteristics of the old forces is that they are attached to their own ideas, to what they want to do, and they regard themselves highly. Therefore, they dared to try to influence Master's Fa-rectification of the universe and demand that Master rectify the Fa in their way, and decide which sentient beings are to be kept or eliminated according to their standards.

Wasn't my behavior similar to theirs? I often focused on the shortcomings of fellow practitioners. I didn't tolerate or understand them. I simply wanted to change others but not myself. How was this different from the old forces? How was this aligned with the standards for cultivators? Once I achieved a tiny thing, I immediately felt that I was very good. I was no longer able to take criticism, and I brewed demons from my own mind and didn't even notice it. I often thought that the problems Master pointed out in the Fa were not mine and that I was a very good practitioner. How was this different from the thoughts of the old forces?

In order to help me understand the Fa principles, our compassionate Master arranged for the project coordinator to visit me from afar and share with me again and again. Master arranged for her to help me because he saw that I was in danger.

I knew that I had the attachment of validating myself, but wasn't able to relinquish this attachment. I kept it in mind when sending forth righteous thoughts and reminded myself of it. However, when things happened, I reacted with my attachment again. This was because I didn't truly and clearly understand the Fa principles. I wasn't able to truly ascend based on the Fa. I now understand, and can clearly sense that Master has taken the substance of the attachment away from me. I feel so liberated, clear, and clean! What's left to be done is simply solid cultivation on my part. Thank you so much, Master!