(Minghui.org) I finally came to understand the reason for not being diligent in my cultivation – I lack the will to cultivate. It isn't because I was not aware of the problem, but I have taken my time and made the same mistake time and time again. Thus, improvement was out of the question.
For example, a Falun Dafa practitioner should purify his or her thoughts and should be disinterested in worldly things. Alas, every so often human notions take over. It is clear to me that networking and reading newspapers is important to non-practitioners. Unfortunately, I am still interested in looking at these things. I know time is precious, but I still chat with everyday people and I enjoy shopping trips. Searching for good food is an attachment, but I still think about what to eat. I know that sending forth righteous thoughts is important, but I miss it at times. I should go out to clarify the facts, but I just keep putting it off. I should stay calm, but I don't, even if I'm among practitioners. These are just a few of the things that make me happy, and all of them are human desires.
Missing just a little here and there can add up to a significant lack of character. If we can correct things as they occur, it would be a lot better than having regrets. I think the reason why this happens is because of a lack of willpower. Teacher has told us many times that we have to have the will to cultivate. Thus, I think that without a strong will, both cultivation and saving sentient beings are difficult to accomplish. Teacher said:
“A Great Enlightened One fears no hardship
Having forged an adamantine will” (“Righteous Thoughts and Righteous Actions” in Hong Yin II)
I understand that an enlightened being has an adamantine will, and that matter and mind are one thing. Why are ordinary people weak? They do not have a strong will and are not sure of what they want. As a practitioner you may do well sometimes and not as well at other times, because your will is not strong enough. Teacher has reminded us many times to have a strong will. Now I understand that a strong will is needed to get things done and when the will is there, nothing is difficult.
I know a practitioner who has been doing well for over ten years in her cultivation and has never slacked off, has never missed doing the exercises or Fa-study, and has taken every problem as an opportunity to improve her character. For more than ten years she has not listened to a radio program, watched a television show, or chosen something tasty to eat. Nothing from the outside has affected her or influenced what she wanted to do. Despite having a large family, she remains unmoved by outside factors. Clearly, this requires a strong will. She does not think cultivation is difficult. Once you achieve her state of mind, nothing is difficult. It becomes difficult only for those who refuse to give up their attachments.
I believe that many practitioners have the same problem I do and continue to make mistakes that a practitioner should not make. Therefore, I've shared my understanding so that we all can move forward.
I'm limited by my level of understanding. Please kindly point out anything that is improper.