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Finding My Own Path After Identifying Gaps in My Cultivation While Exposing the Persecution

December 01, 2011 |   By a practitioner in Heilongjiang Province

(Clearwisdom.net) Greetings, Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners!

Three years ago, a fellow practitioner asked me if I wanted to help expose the persecution of Falun Dafa. At the time, I thought that this would only require writing some articles using skills I already possessed, so I joined this group.

I thought that I was diligent in cultivation before I participated in this group. I run a family-based materials production site that generates different truth clarification materials. I was also involved in coordinating some projects. After I began attending this group, I recognized my gap in cultivation compared with other practitioners. I felt lost and didn't know what to do. After working for several years with other practitioners, I finally found my own path. I would like to share my experiences in cultivation during this project.

Finding My Place and Path

Our group is involved with many areas, including communicating and explaining the facts about Falun Gong to the families of persecuted practitioners, sharing the persecution cases with fellow practitioners in small groups, and writing persecution articles and reports in a timely fashion. This basically reordered my routine, and I didn't know what I could actually do as part of this group. The most important thing that I discovered was that my xinxing was low, and I didn't understand this responsibility and mission as did my fellow practitioners. I didn't have a solid cultivation foundation or know how to look inward, so I was unable to meet the requirements of a Falun Dafa practitioner.

Fellow practitioners encouraged me a lot and also tolerated my shortcomings while observing my cultivation state. They decided to let me start by making sticker-notices which disclosed the current persecution cases, and write articles. I was under pressure. I knew how to write but didn't know how to make the stickers. I needed help from another practitioner to finish the job. Fellow practitioners said that my writing reflected too much influence from the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) culture and expressed too much of my own feelings.

I realized that I needed to make a breakthrough in my cultivation in order to be capable of taking on this responsibility. My problem was that I had the attachment of doing and accomplishing things, and I didn't look inward and didn't cultivate solidly. I decided to treat my cultivation seriously, and strive to meet the requirements for practitioners. I constantly strengthened my thoughts to look inward whenever I encountered conflicts or tribulations. I memorized Master's teachings about this. I opened my heart and shared my problems during group study, treating cultivation seriously. I later realized that I'd changed from looking inward on the surface to truly cultivating. I started thinking like a true practitioner. I know that Master saw my wish to change myself, so he took the bad things away from me.

Making stickers looks like a simple task. We downloaded the template from the Minghui website (Chinese version of Clearwisdom.net). I identified many human notions during this process, like attachments of fear, fame, show-off mentality, validating myself, and fear of difficulties. It was very hard to eliminate those attachments.

One time, we sent an article about exposing the persecution to the Minghui website, but it was not accepted. We edited it again, and several practitioners thought that it was good, yet the editors still didn't accept it. We tried a third time, but it was rejected again. Several days later, we sent an article which we thought wasn't so good, but Minghui accepted it immediately. I looked inward and realized that I hadn't understood the Fa principle related to exposing the persecution. Dafa is both compassionate and majestic at the same time. My article appeared to be kind on the surface, but it actually reflected human notions and wasn't compassionate, from my heart.

On another occasion, we tried to rescue a practitioner. I worked very late in order to finish making the sticker. The next day, the practitioner was released. During this process, I understood that Master wants us all to get involved, find our positions, and finish our missions. I subsequently eliminated the attachment of validating myself.

During the process of writing articles, I have gradually corrected myself and have a righteous starting point. I realized that this was my path to validate the Fa and save sentient beings. I put much effort into editing each article and asked experienced fellow practitioners to review them. I always found shortcomings by looking at their corrections, and learned from them so I could do better the next time.

Increasing Compassion

Prior to this project, I didn't have much contact with others. I couldn't talk to strangers very easily. After participating in this group, my first breakthrough was learning how to accommodate many people and activities.

I was afraid of having contact with so many practitioners, and afraid that I'd be persecuted if enough people knew about me and thought that I was active. That wouldn't be safe for me, and I thought about this a lot. I tried hard to deny it, because I knew that this thought didn't come from my true self. I once saw a practitioner who had many good techniques and had lots of contact with other practitioners. I realized that these traits came from compassion. I needed to increase my compassion. I brought practitioners I knew to my home, whenever they needed a place to stay. I committed to learning new technical skills when needed. I later noticed that my compassion had increased, and it wasn't difficult to start new activities.

I was sometimes under great pressure during cooperative activities with other practitioners. I needed to clarify the truth about Falun Gong to others, as well as work, take care of my family, and finish the persecution articles in a short period of time. It became normal for me to go to sleep very late. Looking back, my compassion increased, and I now look at things from the perspective of a whole entity and the bigger picture.

Coordinating Large-scale Activities to Expose the Persecution

Several local practitioners were persecuted to death while in detention this year. Given this terrible situation, we sat down together, looked inward, and realized that we hadn't done enough to expose the evil in this prison for many years. As a result, the evil dared to relentlessly persecute practitioners. I realized that I needed to take responsibility for exposing the evil forces, eliminating them, and ending the persecution.

There is a cultivation process, from realizing something, to putting it into action. Many practitioners from different provinces are being persecuted in this prison. I traveled to many places to collect information.

On the night before going to the first place to collect information, I was in severe pain. I knew that evil forces were trying to shake my righteous thoughts. I knelt down before Master's portrait and said, “I will do this, no matter what it takes, as long as this is what Master wants.” I didn't sleep at all that night, and my body was still in pain, but I still went with a fellow practitioner. During this process, I saw Master's arrangements, and understood that this was my path. All I needed were strong righteous thoughts.

I experienced what Master said,

“Being far away and separated by oceans, it’s not easy to meet with you. But although you can’t see me in person, as long as you practice cultivation, I’m actually right by your side. And as long as you practice cultivation, I can be responsible for you all the way to the end; what’s more, I’m looking after you every single moment.” (“Teaching the Fa in New York City,” from Lectures in the United States)

Before I left the second time to collect information, I faced a test of sentimentality. My child cried and didn't want me to leave. Actually, I hadn't eliminated the attachment of sentimentality. That morning, I felt bad that my child wouldn't see me for several days. When he cried, I realized that I needed to eliminate this attachment. Actually, I would be doing this for the good my child. I could help him to position himself correctly, and to help practitioners validate the Falun Dafa teachings. This was truly taking responsibility for his life.

The third time, I couldn't find the local practitioner. It was very cold, and I stayed outside with another practitioner for over an hour. We believed that Master's arrangements were always for the best. During the waiting period, we didn't allow our human notions to surface. Actually, the local practitioner had arrived a long time before us. She hadn't dressed warmly, but still waited for us. Although we encountered interference, we finally met. We were all touched, and cooperated very well later.

I didn't do much. I just shared thoughts with fellow practitioners based on the Falun Dafa teachings. We needed to expose the persecution and eliminate the evil forces. Practitioners work together, take on tasks actively, and make everything work well. We just coordinated all our activities. I know that my compassion has increased, and I have fewer human notions. I am very grateful that Master gave me this opportunity to improve. I will do better to be worthy of Master's salvation.