Greetings, fellow disciples!
I have enlightened to the fact that there is no such thing as someone knowing or not knowing how to talk when clarifying the truth. As long as one studies the Fa well, and genuinely cultivates oneself, the path to save people will become wider and wider.
Clarifying the Truth While Accompanied by My Husband, a Police Officer
I once told myself the following: “I wish to not leave out any predestined people. I must treasure Master's mercy and treasure each being Master has arranged to come into contact with me.” However, I had a husband who was a police officer. I was not willing to talk to people about the truth about Falun Gong when he was around. We often traveled by taxi when going out. The first time we went out, I did not clarify the truth to the taxi driver, afraid that my husband might get mad. I regretted it afterward. The second time, I talked to the driver, but my heart was not calm. The driver would not agree to withdraw from the Chinese Communist Party's organizations. My husband was mad and said, “You can talk when you take the taxi alone. Don't talk when I am with you. If the driver locked the door and drove us to a police station, it would be complicated!”
The two times after that I did not talk to the driver. I was afraid that if my husband got in trouble, who would support the family, as our child needs tuition for school. But while studying the Fa, I realized I was wrong. Dafa disciples are saving people, but I failed to save a being who came into contact with me because of selfishness, being concerned over money and fearing that my husband would not be happy. Did I still count as a Dafa disciple? I found the factors blocking me in saving people were sentimentality, selfishness, and fear.
The next time, as soon as I got in a taxi with my husband, I began sending forth righteous thoughts to clear all factors that were blocking sentient beings from gaining salvation. I also sent righteous thoughts toward my husband: “You are my spouse, who also came for this Fa. Do not interfere with my saving of sentient beings, and this will be your mighty virtue. Your knowing side must agree with my actions.” With this, I talked to the driver and he agreed to do quit the Party. After getting out of the taxi, my husband looked as though nothing happened and said to me, “Let's go.” I realized the previous situation was all derived from my fear, and that if my attachments are gone, the environment will change.
From then on, I always clarified the truth to people while together with my husband. Even when my state was not very stable, I still would not give up on any predestined person. Once I saw a taxi driver who didn't look so nice, and did not want to talk to me. Upon arriving at our destination, and as my husband was getting out from the taxi, I paid the fee. I told the young man, “I need to tell you some words from the bottom of my heart. We just met casually, and I want you to be well.” I quickly gave him some discs and said, “Please watch these at home, and learn the truth. Remember Falun Dafa is good; don't be cheated by the CCP-staged self-immolation. The Chinese Communist Party has done too much harm, and the heavens will destroy it. For your safety, make sure to quit the CCP.” He nodded and left.
I looked back, and saw that my husband was laughing at me. He said, “How come you were shy, and why not tell him on the road?” I told him I wasn't sure about the person when we were en route, so I waited until I half-opened the taxi door before talking to him. He answered, “You only have such little ability? Do you have strong righteous thoughts?” I looked inside, and found that, yes, I did have fear, I was acknowledging the evil. Since what I was doing was the most righteous thing in the cosmos, I should be more open and dignified going forward.
My husband did not agree with the content of the truth clarification materials. As I continued my Fa study and looked inside, I became purer and purer, and he became more clear-minded. One day a young colleague of his at the police station died of illness. People did not know he was sick until he actually died, and the other officers were worried that the public would ridicule them for being met with retribution. My husband said, “If we knew earlier, we could have visited him, helped him quit the CCP and had him recite Falun Dafa is good, and maybe he wouldn't have died.”
People's knowing sides all know Dafa is the only hope to be saved. When we cultivate more and more in conformity with Dafa, the sentient beings around us will learn more about the wonderfulness of Dafa.
Cultivating Away Low Self-Esteem and Hatred; Clarifying the Truth to More Officers
I grew up in a justice system social circle. People around me all work in prisons and forced labor camps. People in this circle are commonly selfish, jealous, cunning, and have strong demon-nature. After cultivating, I saw myself still carrying selfishness and not being compassionate enough.
I was arrested several times when appealing for Falun Gong and was tortured with methods such as force-feeding. Upon returning home, I had hatred towards those officers that tortured practitioners, and I wanted them to meet with retribution. My clarifying the truth did not have any effect. I didn't talk to them with sincerity. I had a notion and was saying in my heart, “I told you already, so don't regret that you failed to listen to me when you meet with retribution.”
Master taught us in “Teaching the Fa at the 2004 International Fa Conference in New York,”
“I said earlier that relative to the number of people in the world, the number of Dafa disciples right now is very small, but you have a great mission that history has bestowed upon you. So as for the Dafa disciples in any region, you are basically the hope for the beings in that region to be saved--their only hope, in fact. The beings there need to hear the Good News, and they need to hear you clarify the facts to them so that they can understand what Dafa is. That is why Dafa disciples' responsibilities are weighty.”
I thought, since I live in this environment, perhaps it was initially my choice, and I should save the beings here. I looked inward: why was I not willing to see them or talk to them? I found that I had low self-esteem. I was forced to leave home to avoid being arrested and lost my job. I made a wish to eliminate those human notions. I asked Master: “Please arrange predestined people to meet me. I must save them with compassion.”
As my mind changed, the environment changed accordingly. Officers used to ignore me, but now would say “Hi” to me from a long distance. “You've come back, you must have endured lots of hardships these years. Go practice, just be careful about safety issues.” I could tell that they truly cared about me. Some took the initiative to tell me about their family problems, unlike other people who always hide their problems. I explained the facts about Falun Gong to them, and told them how to avoid retribution. One officer in charge of internal broadcasting in a forced labor camp said to me in regards to persecuting practitioners, “Yes, I should never do those things.”
Once I went to a supply department with my husband. I remembered that one of my schoolmates who I had not met for many years worked there. I thought it would be great if I could clarify the truth to him. Upon leaving, he came down from upstairs. He was now the director of that particular department. He asked, “How come you look so young?” His colleague also commented that I looked very young compared with his appearance. I said, “It is because I practice Falun Gong.” I told him about the truth, and not only did he accept it, he even wanted to invite us to dinner. He gave me his contact information and said that some of our other schoolmates would be getting together soon, and that he wanted me to make sure to show up. I knew that this would be another good chance to spread the truth.
From Selfishness to Tolerance Among Fellow Disciples
I found myself short of mercy, with strong demon nature and selfishness. These traits not only affected the quality of my clarifying the truth, but also interfered with cooperation among fellow disciples and the forming of one body. Once, I heard that a practitioner was experiencing hardship, and I was impatient. I said to her with anger, “Such little hardship and you cannot pass through? Master taught us about these things so early in teaching the Fa. If you refuse to get rid of your attachments, are you still cultivating?” I failed to help her solve the problem, and also made her angry.
This practitioner soon expanded her volume of compassion, saying, “She had a good wish to help me upgrade my xinxing. However, her tone...”
I was even angrier upon hearing this. I thought, “You are in such a state, yet you don't like my tone?” I knew my demon nature was large. I read Minghui Weekly, which had articles that touched me greatly. I needed to see others' good parts, so that I could learn from them and endure better. Sometimes I did not use harsh words with my mouth, but deep down I was angry. I read Master's words one day,
“Back then, as I was saving you, a lot of you were cursing at me. There were people who were cursing at me even while at my classes. I don't mind. I just want to save you.” (“Fa-Lecture During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference “)
I was moved by Master's grand compassion. We are all Master's disciples; I have no right to be so critical toward fellow disciples. Now I can sincerely see other practitioners' good parts, and understand that the practitioner who exposed her problem is doing so for her to correct herself, as well as giving our one body a chance to upgrade together. My scolding cannot help anyone.
Later, my tone changed, and I truly wanted to help her and think of her. I encouraged her that she would for sure overcome that test. The process of getting rid of my demon nature was repeated. Another time local practitioners gathered in my home to learn a new piece of technology. A practitioner taught with my computer, and each brought their own to learn. Disciple A sat right next to the instructor. When the instructor moved to my desktop, disciple A also sat next to him again. I did not get a chance to use the computer. I was mad, because it seemed disciple A would not allow me to practice at all.
Then I thought from another angle: learning technology is to strengthen our one body. Disciple A lives in the suburbs, and she has to teach fellow practitioners in her area. I am in the city, and still have lots of opportunities to learn. I calmed down and told disciple A to take good notes. Later the instructor did not leave immediately, and I used disciple A's notes to practice.
Helping Fellow Practitioners and Cultivating Myself
There are some elderly fellow practitioners around me who are interfered with by sickness karma, and have had difficulties studying the Fa. I established a Fa-study group with them on top of my regular group. We study the Fa four days a week, and use one day per week to produce materials and pass them out. One of them kept talking about her physical problems upon finishing Fa-study every day, exposing so many human attachments. I told her to send righteous thoughts, and clear out the interference. She tried to recite the righteous thoughts formula, but within half an hour, she could not remember it, and even recited some words that had the opposite meaning.
I could not tolerate it any more and said to her, “Auntie, there are only these two sentences, and you cannot learn them in half an hour? Your sickness karma interference has not been cleared up in such a long time. How about you go to your daughter’s home (who is also a practitioner). Maybe their righteous thoughts are stronger and can help you better.” She ended up going to her daughter's home.
After a period of time, I saw my selfishness. I failed to seize those good cultivation opportunities, and thought being together with older practitioners was like a sacrifice. But my standpoint was still on self improvement--I still really wanted to be together only with younger disciples. I thought I was helping fellow practitioners, but I found that I only wanted to validate myself.
I decided to still stay with the elderly practitioners. Upon hearing that she had come back from her daughter's home, I knocked on her door. She was surprised. I said, “I was wrong, I should not have asked you to leave. Let us study the Fa together again.” She was embarrassed and said, “I was hospitalized.” I said very calmly, “Auntie, that is over. We will together study the Fa well and correct ourselves, and everything will be fine.” The practitioner was moved, and said, “I am so surprised you will still come to study the Fa with me!”
I told myself, “I am here to study the Fa.” The Fa can change a person and break all human attachments. I see that in walking my path to today amidst the Fa-rectification, my biggest issue has been to cultivate away selfishness. My selfishness caused me to pick on others, validate myself, get jealous, and have fear when saving people. So many fellow practitioners have helped me in the past years. I thank Master who compassionately arranged all of it! I will cultivate myself all the time, be diligent, and save more people.