(Clearwisdom.net) In the second half of last year, I was unable to open my mouth. I didn't know the reason, but for two days I could still talk, then after that it became hard to talk and I also couldn't eat. There was nothing abnormal inside my mouth, except my gums felt a little bit swollen. When this began happening, I thought that it must have been the evil interfering with my efforts to tell people the facts of the persecution, so I strengthened my righteous thoughts. But the situation did not get any better. In the days following, it even became hard to drink water, and things started quickly getting worse. I didn't know where the problem was.
After fellow practitioners learned what was happening, they thought the situation was very pressing, especially because the old forces had recently taken away two practitioners by persecuting them with sickness karma. Everyone began looking within, and through studying the {Fa}, we realized that the old forces are not qualified to arrange things for Dafa practitioners. Only Teacher Li Hongzhi can do so. If we have an omission, the only thing to do is to become upright through Dafa cultivation, completely negate the old forces to the point that we don't even accept them coming into being in the first place, and send righteous thoughts to eliminate them and the things they have arranged. This is the first thing that must be done. At the same time, we should help fellow cultivators study the Fa and look within, find where we fall short, get rid of those shortcomings, and improve.
My fellow cultivators came to see it this way, and so day and night there were practitioners with me, sending righteous thoughts to help me clear out my dimensional field and the evil factors. We studied the Fa, helping me to strengthen my righteous thoughts and find where I had fallen short. Through studying the Fa and sending righteous thoughts, I gradually came to clearly see my attachments. One was the attachment of not letting others talk. Last year at work there were some conflicts that became more and more intense. It began with my boss seizing on some small matters to write an article criticizing me. Later, in order to fire me before my contract was up, he blamed me for all sorts of things. He intentionally assigned me tasks that were impossible to complete so that he could have an excuse to belittle me. I didn't look within in a timely fashion and cultivate myself, and in my heart I felt angry and aggrieved. I even told some fellow workers about how my boss was such-and-such behind his back. I found another attachment. A fellow practitioner said to me, "Is it that your belief in Teacher isn't resolute?" I knelt before Teacher's image, facing fellow practitioners, and said firmly, "I am Teacher Li Hongzhi's disciple. I will only walk on the path arranged by Teacher. I don't want any other arrangements, and I completely eliminate the old forces' interference and persecution." At that time I felt that my words carried a lot of power. As I knelt there, roused and saying those words one by one, I felt a warm current rush through my body. Then a current of energy forcefully opened my jaw for almost a minute, and my jaw opened halfway. I understood at once: It was Teacher's Law Body! I was so moved that I started crying, and fellow practitioners and family members present were all witness to the miracle. Everyone began shedding tears. At that time I could only eat some thin rice gruel, even though for two weeks I had barely eaten.
However, the following day things were still not resolved. Although I could open my mouth halfway, my throat was red and swollen, and swallowing was so difficult that I was still unable to eat. I knew that it was because I hadn't found my fundamental attachment. Another day went by and I couldn't even drink water. After two weeks of not eating I was becoming weak, and at the same time, every evening for days I had been attacked by evil beings in other dimensions. I focused my energy and sent righteous thoughts. Every evening I sent righteous thoughts for at least three hours before going to sleep. I felt that my body in other dimensions had suffered a lot of harm, but whether or not I could get up the following day, whether or not I could make it through this persecution, I began to feel that my heart was becoming broader.
That afternoon a practitioner planned to go out and clarify the truth. I felt that I could still get up, so I would join her. The trip was very exhausting. I felt that if I couldn't break through that day, then the next day I would definitely leave this world. But I didn't want to leave! I came across an immaculately dressed person, who asked me what I was doing. In the conversation, the person said "The other side of nirvana." I was deeply surprised. I asked, "Since you know I'm suffering, why do you prod me where it hurts most?" That evening while studying the Fa, it become extremely hard to even talk. Fellow practitioners said that it was the old forces' arrangements and that I definitely shouldn't acknowledge it. At this point, facing the test of life and death, I calmed down, and when the time came to send righteous thoughts, I clearly saw the following scene:
Six months ago, because work was particularly busy, I had little time to study the Fa or send righteous thoughts. Saving people was very pressing, and there were so many people that I still hadn't saved. I felt anxious and like I had no way forward. During the persecution I had changed jobs so many times--big workplaces, small workplaces--I had worked at so many. Everyday people are so focused on their jobs. In the face of personal gain they busy themselves without rest. Seeing this situation I thought to myself, "Maybe there's no hope of finding a job that gives me more leisure time." But with so little time to study the Fa and do work to validate the Fa, it really was difficult. With so little spare time, if I used it to study the Fa, then I couldn't do things to validate the Fa. If I went and validated the Fa, I would run into danger, because without properly studying the Fa I was in a poor state. I wouldn't be able to have a good effect, and what would I do if I ran into persecution? Then I thought, "If I was persecuted I wouldn't be afraid, because if I was persecuted to death that wouldn't affect my Consummation." I could only do my very best to balance Fa-study with validating the Fa, and I would do each to the greatest extent possible. Over those days I looked over the things Teacher had said about this matter and related Clearwisdom articles. I decided that if I was persecuted to death, it wasn't a big deal, because in the end I would still Consummate.
It was precisely this unrighteous thought--acknowledging that it was OK to be persecuted to death--that the old forces had remembered. I had long forgotten about this matter and hadn't again thought about the possibility of leaving this world early, but this form of persecution had still emerged. Through this, I deeply realized the seriousness of cultivation. A cultivator's every thought is important, especially the things that Teacher has placed emphasis on, such as relations between a man and a woman, not respecting Teacher, and so on.
As soon as I recognized this incorrect thought of acknowledging persecution to death, I immediately sent righteous thoughts to eliminate it and clear it out. I thought of Teacher's Fa:
"...during the Fa-rectification period, disciples must not depart until the Fa-rectification is over." ( "Fa-Rectification Period Dafa Disciples," Essentials for Further Advancement II).
I said it quietly to myself, then sternly warned myself: "Fa-Rectification Period Dafa Disciples must achieve the effect of validating the Fa." At that moment a current of energy washed away the substance that was locking up my jaw. Deeply moved, I send forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the remaining evil. After a few minutes, my mouth started leaking pus and blood, which happened for a few hours. The next day I could eat a little bit, without too much obstruction. In the period that followed, I discovered various long-term attachments like personal gain, fear, sentiment, etc. As I gradually assimilated more and more closely with the Fa, I gradually returned to normal.
Teacher dissolved a demonic tribulation for me, including arranging those practitioners to come and help me. My heart is filled with deep gratitude that I have no way to express. Thank you, Teacher! Thank you, fellow practitioners!
This is just my personal understanding. Please point out any shortcomings.