(Clearwisdom.net) The police in our area recently arrested many Dafa practitioners and destroyed our large informational materials production site. The loss was huge. A family member of mine was among the practitioners who were arrested. I looked inward and asked myself, "What caused us such a huge loss?"

After they were arrested, I felt very sad in my heart. Aside from my family member, I personally knew two other practitioners who were arrested. They all paid serious attention to looking inward, and almost all of their thoughts were based on the Fa. So why were they arrested? My tears flowed continuously. I was moved by sentimentality, I felt strong hatred for the police, and all of my human notions emerged. During the past few days, I heard that my family member was beaten in the detention center. My other family members and I were all very worried.

My family members who do not practice Falun Gong also blamed me, saying, "You hurt your closest family member." I was surprised to hear that. How could it be me? I started to look inward. During the past six months, I have studied the Fa and practiced the exercises alone. I didn't want to study the Fa with my family member. Every time she wanted to study the Fa with me, I always found an excuse not to do it. I was in the state of cultivating alone. I knew the format of studying the Fa and practicing the exercises that Teacher left for us. I knew that when I studied the Fa and practiced exercises with other practitioners, the energy field was very strong, but when I studied the Fa with her, I couldn't concentrate or remember Teacher's Fa at all. I also felt uncomfortable when practicing the exercises with her and felt that she interfered with my maintaining a calm mind. When it was time to send forth righteous thoughts at midnight, if one of us saw that the other didn't get up, we always wanted the other to sleep for a little longer and didn't wake him/her up. This was not being responsible to our fellow practitioners at all. But at that moment I felt that I had cultivated myself well. Actually, I hadn't broken through the principles of the old universe. I was being selfish and looking down on other practitioners. I also felt she didn't cultivate as well as I did. I always thought of myself first and found many excuses to protect my fundamental interests. I didn't fundamentally change my human notions.

I now regret very much that I didn't cherish the time with my family member practitioner. I thought of her as a family member and didn't think of her as a fellow practitioner. Many practitioners told me, "Your have too much human sentimentality. On other things you look like a Dafa practitioner, but when dealing with her, you don't have a strong mind as a Dafa practitioner." When my family member practitioner saw the shortcomings in my cultivation, she tried hard to convince me to correct them, but I didn't listen to her at all and thought that what she said was wrong. Even if what she said was right, I didn't listen to her. When she criticized me, it just set me off. I didn't want to change myself but only wanted to change her. She gradually became afraid to criticize me. But if other practitioners pointed out my shortcomings, I accepted it and immediately corrected it based on the Fa.

I now look back and realize that my sentimentality actually harmed her. The old forces saw this and used it as an excuse to separate us. I didn't want to study the Fa with her, so the old forces really separated us. Since she was arrested, many practitioners who used to communicate with us frequently no longer come to my home, which has upset me. I really need encouragement from fellow practitioners now, and need to share cultivation experiences with them. I also understand however, that I can't risk the safety of fellow practitioners just because I have a test to pass and because I have the wish to share experiences with them. On the surface, we should maximally conform to everyday human society. I should take safety seriously and protect the practitioners. At the same time, I need to pass the test myself.

My family member practitioner has been illegally detained three times. But this time, before she was arrested, I lived with her for a while. I never experienced this before. When I went back home, I cried and folded the clothes on the bed that she left. I accidentally found a note in a pocket. It was one of Teacher's new articles she had transcribed. After I read the article, my tears flowed again.

The note looked very old and was written a long time ago. Teacher certainly doesn't recognize the old forces' persecution of Falun Dafa practitioners, but when we don't act based on the Fa and we have loopholes, and when our righteous thoughts are not strong, Teacher can't help us. I said to Teacher in my heart, "Teacher, this time I truly know that cultivation is very serious. Right now, I only have the book Zhuan Falun with me. The practitioner who was arrested protected me and protected other practitioners at the materials site. When the police surrounded the building, she risked her life to call me and warn me. A god would sacrifice his or her life in order to protect the universe. My life was given by Teacher. I will also use my life to protect the Fa of the universe." I now deeply understand Teacher's hope for every Dafa disciple. Teacher wants to bring all the true practitioners home and doesn't want to leave any of us behind.

This also helped me realize that many of my attachments that I didn't want to face in the past. Nothing that Dafa practitioners encounter is a coincidence. Teacher taught us,

"Cultivation is something you do right in the thick of tribulations. They'll test whether you can sever your emotions and desires, and they'll see if you can take them lightly. If you're attached to those things you won't be able to finish your cultivation... But if you do break out of emotion, nobody can affect you, and ordinary attachments won't be able to sway you. What replaces it is compassion, which is more noble." ("The Fourth Talk" from Zhuan Falun)

Teacher wants me to become mature as soon as possible and to cultivate myself well. No matter in what kind of situation, I am a Falun Dafa practitioner during the Fa-rectification period, and I must be worthy of the most sacred title in the universe.

I would also like to tell the young practitioners who are in similar situations that we must cherish the predestined relationships with the practitioners who are family members, advance together diligently, and do the three things well.