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Seeing My Situation Improve After Truly Searching Within

January 02, 2010 |  

(Clearwisdom.net) My legs recently hurt quite a bit during the sitting meditation and I could not do it for very long. My printer also very often jammed. I thought it was because I did not study the Fa enough and did not do well in other things. I did not dig any deeper. The printer kept jamming and the words printed out appeared too light. It got a little better after I cleaned it. I thought it was because the ink was low, so I added more ink. But it still was not dark enough.

Fellow practitioners have shared in the past that if things go wrong with computers or printers, it is probably due to xinxing issues. I believed this based on the Fa principles, but in real life I seemed to only believe it to a certain extent. This situation lasted for several days, until one morning when I had an argument with my husband and I finally remembered to search within myself.

My husband and I have argued a lot for over the past twenty years. After I began cultivation, although I do not get angry nearly as much and know that I must treat him with compassion, whenever he gets angry with me and scolds me, I am not able to stay calm. All my attachments, including the feeling of being wronged, resentment, competitive mentality, self-interest, jealousy and so on, would come out. I always think that I have been pretty nice to him and he should not treat me like this. I discovered that whenever I do not do well when facing conflict, it is because I do not look at the issues based on the Fa, do not search within myself, and do not regard myself as a practitioner. During those times, my human notions took control of my mind. With human notions, how could one solve issues in cultivation? With human notions and everyday people's sentimentality to family, how could one save one's relatives?

Another thing is that my compassion is not true enough and my compassionate thoughts are not yet sufficient. I am a being who has already obtained the Fa and walking on a path to divinity. Master and other righteous gods are taking care of me. I am the luckiest. However, he is not. He is still in the world of delusion and he is suffering. When I argue with him, an everyday person, where is my compassion?

Before I began cultivation, I had gastric disease, heart disease, and hyperostosis. They were all cured after I started practicing Falun Gong. For 13 years, I did not take a single dose of medicine. My temper also improved a lot and I very rarely get angry. My whole family has seen what Falun Gong has given to me, so they are not opposed to my practicing Falun Gong. They just do not like my clarifying the truth to others, so I do this when they are not around.

Through studying the Fa I understood that I must do things as a practitioner anytime and anywhere. Since I failed in this respect and had many human notions, my energy field was not pure and my compassionate energy was not strong enough. When I finally realized this, my legs felt quite comfortable in sitting meditation and I was able to sit longer. The printer also does not jam anymore.

Why did everything all of a sudden get better? I suddenly realized that it was because my xinxing improved, my level rose and my energy field became pure, and thus everything turned out well. I thanked Master again and again in my mind. Falun Dafa is so miraculous!