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Discerning Falsehoods and Eliminating Fear

July 17, 2009 |   By a practitioner in China

(Clearwisdom.net) My home-based truth clarification material production site has been running for several years. At the beginning, I was not very active due to my fear of the persecution. In the process of doing the project, Teacher protected me, fellow practitioners helped me and I have been able to walk my path well. My fear became weaker and weaker, but I could tell there was still a bit of it in me. The demand for materials increased dramatically during the past several months, so I had to operate the machine every evening after returning from work. This is not what I used to do in the past. I was worried that the noise from the machine would catch my neighbors' attention, so every night I turned off the machine at around 10 p.m.

Every time before I turned on the machine, I sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate interference. At the same time I added one thought: Let no one hear the machine. But deep down I was not sure whether this thought would work. I could hear noise from the neighbors living upstairs and downstairs, their talking, programs playing on their TV's and telephones ringing. Looking at the machine I was using, its noise sounded very loud to me. If my neighbors noticed it, they might wonder why my family keeps printing things every day. What if they asked me, what should I say? Maybe it was better to change to a machine that made less noise. Whenever such a series of thoughts came up, I negated them and sent forth righteous thoughts to get rid of my fear and interference. I kept reminding myself that Teacher is next to me protecting me and reassured myself that the neighbors did not hear anything once I made up my mind that they wouldn't.

For some time, I kept on eliminating the fear and reminding myself to believe in Teacher and the Fa. I also read the Fa more frequently, but the fear did not go away. Once a neighbor asked me, "My baby cries a lot. Does it bother you?" Actually I did not hear any baby crying. My husband also told me that he could not hear the machine from the living room when I was printing things in the inner room with the door closed. Teacher was telling me through them that I should not worry, but I was still deeply troubled by the stubborn fear. I asked myself, "Why is the fear still bothering me? How come I cannot firmly believe in Teacher and the Fa?"

One day my son, also a practitioner, and I had a chat. My son said to me, "You can hear the noises from your neighbors because you are not an ordinary person. Other people cannot hear the noises you noticed." He told me that the noise from our printer was not loud, the fear was not mine and I should negate and eliminate it. I suddenly realized that my son was right. The fear is not mine; it comes from the other "false" me which was formed by notions, attachments and karma. In the past I was stuck in confusion and could not differentiate which is the true me and which is not. Now I understand. I jumped out from the confusion and eliminated the fear.

When I turned on the machine again, the noise no longer affected me. I was perfectly calm, without nervousness or anxiety. Thank you Teacher for helping me pass the test.