(Clearwisdom.net) It has been fourteen years since my whole family was fortunate enough to obtain the Fa in 1995. During all these years, I've experienced both bitterness and sweetness, and have become mature in the process. I thank Master for His encouragement and hints along the way. I really feel that the Buddha's mercy is immense, but can't express it in words. Let me just share my experiences in letting go of fame, material interest and sentimentality (qing).
I am a young Dafa disciple and just entered the workforce. I had always considered myself a person with very little interest in fame and material interests. When I was still a little child, I knew I didn't want to make a fortune or become a high-ranking official when I grew up. All I wanted was to lead a quiet and uncomplicated life. However, once I began work, some of my deeply hidden attachments gradually surfaced.
I work in the department of human resources (HR) at my company. There are only two people in the HR department, the director and me. HR is a very popular department that everyone wants to get into. The director is nearing retirement so people at my company took it for granted I would be the successor. Therefore, they were very nice and flattering to me. However, one day, a young person about the same age of me was hired to the HR and it was said that his family had very good connections. My colleagues all began to talk about him and speculated that he must have come here for the position of the HR director. Some of them who were close to me even cautioned me to pay attention to him. Gradually, my attachment came out. When I mentioned this to my parents at home, I couldn't help but shed tears, as if I had suffered great injustice. My parents are also cultivators and they advised me to look at the issue from the perspective of the Fa. Well, I felt like I knew the Fa principles, but it was so hard to let go of my attachment. As a result, the more I was obsessed with this issue, the more I heard other people mention the new hire in front of me. In the end, the rumor was that I would be transferred to another department.
I lost my cool upon hearing this rumor and felt I couldn't stand it anymore. At the same time, however, the sadness associated with it suddenly woke me up. I began to calm down and look within, trying to figure out why it felt unbearable and why I cried. With such a strong attachment to fame and material interest, how can I still claim that I am free of these mentalities? These attachments didn't show up in the past simply because there was no opportunity to provoke it. Now it is evident that not only these attachments did exist in me, but they were strong. As a Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple, how can I forget my mission to save sentient beings just because of my pursuit of everyday people's fame and material interest? I felt so ashamed of myself. Why was I made to work in the HR department? That was because this is where I can meet the most people. Didn't Master intend for me to save people here? I had almost forgotten my mission.
The old forces took advantage of my attachments and had the department assign numerous responsibilities to me. Every day I had endless work to do and couldn't even calm down to study the Fa or practice the Falun Gong exercises. I was completely occupied with work-related issues. I felt tired every day. After realizing this, I began to send forth righteous thoughts to negate the arrangements the old forces imposed on me. I can do this job well, but my mission is to save people. So naturally I let my guard down towards the new hire, and was willing to hand some of my job duties to him. As a result, I now have more time to do things to validate Dafa.
As a young disciple, I was once carried away by sentimentality and couldn't get out of it. I had longed for a romantic and comfortable life in the human world. I always felt pitiful that I still couldn't find the right man in my life when everyone praised me for my intelligence and good looks. I was very uncomfortable when seeing other people sharing joy with their loved ones. However, a couple of days ago when I attended my younger sister's wedding I suddenly had a different feeling. I was very content seeing my young siblings grow up and now have their own families. The jealousy I had before suddenly disappeared. At that moment, I knew clearly that I didn't belong to this human world. I am a life that will ascend from it and the so-called wonderfulness in the human world no longer appeals to me.
Cultivation is serious and the Fa demands higher and higher requirements of us. We can only keep up with the Fa-rectification process, do the three things well and ascend from the human world with righteous thoughts. We can no longer harm others and ourselves by drowning in sentimentality. Think about our mission and sentient beings--what's there to be attached to? My fellow practitioners, please cherish the time left to do what we are supposed to do. Master has chosen us to help Him and we must not let Master down.
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