(Clearwisdom.net) After reading an article on the Minghui website (Chinese version of Clearwisdom.net) today about jealousy, I now have a better understanding on this issue.
In the past, I always considered myself better than others. I thought that when other people did better than me in something, it was because they were luckier than me. I also thought that my supervisor was incapable of identifying and making good use of my talents. No matter how good other people were, I tried to find how they were not as good as me so that I would feel better. These thoughts came naturally, almost without thinking.
Today, after reading this article on the Minghui website, I realized these thoughts were from the attachment of jealousy. I had thought about this in the past, but this attachment was very subtle and I often reached the conclusion, "You don't have the attachment of jealousy, since you are better than others anyway." As a result, when looking within, I always compared my strengths with other people's shortcomings. I also tried to minimize the strengths of others, and when it was difficult to do, I concluded that they were luckier than me. As a result, I felt I was better than others and failed to notice my jealousy. Therefore, the attachment to myself covered up my attachment of jealousy. I appeared calm on the surface, but jealousy was actually already very strong.
I have now realized that being attached to oneself is the root of jealousy. We should place ourselves on the same level as others, not above them. Each being is formed by the Fa and each one has different characteristics. That is to say, each being has strengths and weaknesses. It is this diversity that makes the universe colorful and allows beings to enjoy life.
When I thought further, I realized that being attached to oneself may be a characteristic of the old cosmos. Because of the attachment to themselves, the old forces felt it was unfair that Dafa practitioners had benefited so much from Dafa. Therefore, they used every possible evil means to "test" practitioners while neglecting the catastrophe the entire cosmos is facing. How selfish and scary this is!
In Zhuan Falun, Master said, "If in the course of cultivation practice jealousy is not given up, one will not attain Right Fruit--absolutely not." Now I have a better understanding on this.
I write this, hoping to completely identify this attachment and eliminate it. I feel relieved and no longer have the fear of falling behind. Yes, if one always thinks about competing with other people, how can he or she be truly considerate of others and truly selfless?
March 18, 2009