(Clearwisdom.net) I am a Dafa practitioner who came from China two years ago. During the third time I attended the group Fa study with both Chinese and Western practitioners, I cried, because I was loudly reprimanded by an older practitioner. Harmonizing my relationship with fellow practitioners is now part of my cultivation.
I have a relatively weak character. In China, I had developed a habit of not causing conflicts, which is in fact a part of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) culture. When I saw pending conflicts, my first reaction was evasion. I didn't want to further discuss the issue with fellow practitioners. So in the first year after I came to Australia, my relationship with fellow practitioners there was not bad.
Additionally, when I first came here, an older practitioner told me that the practitioners here had had some heated arguments regarding practitioners A and B, and many practitioners held some grudges about the two practitioners. This was especially true in the case of practitioner B. Whenever other practitioners mentioned her, they had an attitude of ridiculing or reprimanding her. It seemed that all the practitioners had reached a consensus in this regard. Furthermore, it had also gradually formed an environment here where practitioners having no other topics to talk about would pick on practitioner B and talk about her without her knowledge. I also acted this way. It appeared that whenever I bad-mouthed practitioner B, I was automatically drawn into the group majority. Later through Fa study, I realized that this mindset was not correct, but I just stopped at that because I was not bad-mouthing her alone. When others talked about practitioner B, I still sided with the criticism, feeling that I could get closer to other practitioners by acting this way.
Another practitioner, who later arrived from China, has an introverted character and is very sensitive to the relationship between individual practitioners and the practitioner group here. She felt uncomfortable once she came to this cultivation environment. She cried many times, complaining that the practitioners here were not compassionate. I initially was very close to this practitioner, but gradually I started to become impatient with her, and later I started saying things to provoke her. Gradually she stopped interacting with me. There was a period of time during which she was angry whenever she saw me. I then examined myself regarding why I could show more tolerance toward the veteran practitioners, who had lived here longer than I had. I had in fact just restrained myself from becoming angry, not gotten over it. So I was showing a false presentation of myself. I showed more tolerance to the veteran practitioners while looking down on this new practitioner and even said something to hurt her. After digging further for the root cause, I realized that this was, in fact, a part of the CCP culture, which is, bullying the newcomers.
Our city subsequently held two Shen Yun performances consecutively within two years. During the first year, my mind was very pure as I just wanted to assist Master in rectifying the Fa, so my Shen Yun ticket sales were relatively good. In the second year, I felt that I already had some "qualification," and I could take a break. Also for various reasons and attachments, I had not paid attention at all to the promotion of the Shen Yun performance tickets. My cultivation state was also a miniature reflection of the practitioners here as a whole. As a result, the Shen Yun promotion for the second year was not as successful as the first. After the performance was over, the practitioners felt that we had failed the test of all Dafa practitioners cooperating as a whole, not to mention the overall cooperation among Dafa practitioners. I, for example, had not entered the cultivation state which I should have had.
While I stayed in this city, my attachment to showing off had gradually surfaced. I believed that my words had also played a critical role here and that I was also extraordinary. As a result, I had arguments and quarrels with several practitioners in succession. I couldn't accept what they had said at all. When I was criticized, I became angry. I knew that my state was not right, but I just could not control myself. I had that kind of substance, which like a volcano, had to erupt. Otherwise I felt uncomfortable, even though I knew that the magma from the eruption would also burn me badly.
After I read Master's "Fa Teaching Given in Manhattan" (2006), which was recently published, I felt that each and every word of the lecture was targeting me. This was especially true regarding the issue of "Just one word and they explode" from the lecture. I felt that Master was talking about this issue very seriously. After I read the Fa, I felt cold sweat all over my body. I felt as if the old forces had been viciously staring at me.
Unfortunately, a week after I read this Fa, I had a heated argument with a fellow practitioner. The reason was simple and also very serious. That is, I did not like others criticizing me. After this argument, I noticed that I had no energy at all, and there was a force that kept trying to push me away from Dafa. Much thought karma also surfaced, and I felt I had lost the things that I could depend on. My heart was waving like a lonely, floating tiny boat. I loudly argued and yelled. This impulsive behavior had a very bad impact upon me, and was mainly because the ruler of my xinxing had been strongly challenged. I felt much regret about my behavior. Master's Fa was very clear that one has to endure the karma accrued for the wrong deeds he or she has done. What I had done had increased the difficulty of the tribulations that I encountered on my cultivation path. I had not followed the cultivation path that Master arranged for me. Other practitioners also came to talk to me and shared their views. I felt that the behavior of, "Just one word and they explode" is like a drug. What I had to face right after it showed its effect was punishment, in the form of loneliness deep in my heart.
I silently made up my mind never to argue with other practitioners again, and I don't even want to have any incorrect thoughts about other practitioners. Otherwise, how was it different from "Just one word and they explode"? When I made this determination, I felt like Master was holding me in his palm, and I felt free and safe.
With continuous Fa study, I had improved very fast in this regard. I came to understand that my compassion toward fellow practitioners was based on my righteous thoughts, especially for those projects that require the cooperation of Dafa practitioners as a whole. Shen Yun is about to perform for the third time in our city. All practitioners here have realized that only by forming one unit can we successfully hold the performance.
So my having conflict with fellow practitioners, whether on the surface or in my heart, is a very serious issue. What is even more serious is that I still don't want to give up these incorrect thoughts, even though I understand that these thoughts are wrong. Cultivation is a serious matter and I can't pass it by mere pretension, as it is more serious than anything in human society.
Only when we are compassionate toward fellow practitioners and use the Fa to rectify ourselves and guide our interactions with fellow practitioners, can we have righteous thoughts. Only in this way can our righteous thoughts be strengthened and become stronger and stronger. Only in this way can all practitioners act in a concerted way and look inward when encountering conflicts. In this way, even if something looks impossible in ordinary society, it can be turned into the most effective approach under the field of our compassion.
I hope that I can live up to what I have said. Whenever I have conflicts with other practitioners, I am able to quickly and accurately analyze the situation and understand the attitude that I should have according to the Fa. Master has already removed this bad substance from us. I hope that I can value each and every practitioner and we can cultivate ourselves together diligently under the Fa's light.