(Clearwisdom.net) I had not previously studied the Fa well, but lately I've made some improvement. As my daily routine, I attend morning classes, and after the noon break, I quickly get to studying the Fa in order to make up for when I fell behind. After coming home from evening classes, I go on minghui.ca and Zhengjian.org (Clearwisdom.net and PureInsight.org, in English) to read fellow practitioners' cultivation sharing articles. I didn't strictly follow the Fa requirements early on, as I always wanted to browse the Internet - it was my big attachment. Instead of eliminating this strong desire, I found excuses for myself, such as "Widening my knowledge is enriching my experience" and "More reading or viewing will strengthen my inspiration and increase my creativity." Sometimes, I tried to give myself excuses by thinking, "Today, I will only look at some pictures without reading articles, so I won't waste too much time."
In fact, in the process of viewing pictures, I was actually storing those bad things in my head. A true cultivator must stay far away from fame, profit, and sentiment, while eliminating the thinking mode of everyday society - aren't those dirty things filled with dispute, which could influence the state of cultivation? These things of everyday society are obstacles on our cultivation paths, and the old forces use them to drag us downward.
I have found that in some areas, I haven't behaved like a solid practitioner with regard to proper ways of thinking, talking, and acting. I clung to my old ways of doing things even after I studied the Fa. Teacher said,
"Think about it. What is true faith? You're merely saying with your mouth that you have faith, but in your heart you don't actually have faith. Why do I say that? Because when you truly have faith your actions match your words." ("Teaching the Fa at the Conference in Europe")
I am fairly introverted. Seeing people around me indulge in the desires of material benefits and lust, I feel that I am better than they are; that I require a comparatively high standard for myself, and that what I am doing is meaningful. When associating with schoolmates, I don't point out their wrongdoings, feeling that it's okay as long as I am clear about the problem, and that they wouldn't understand or accept my opinion anyway. What I didn't realize was, this kind of thinking is selfish, something arranged by the old forces, and reflects also an attachment to comfort.
Sometimes, I was quite unsocial, thinking that their problems were not mine. In fact, these were all human notions. I was awakened by an old saying, "Those with virtues will have neighbors." All my understandings were the result of looking outward instead of inward. What appeared in my surroundings was a reflection of my state of mind. My complicated insincere mind affected those around me. Each person has his or her level of understanding. Only when true compassion emerges from cultivation can one treat sentient beings with a kind heart - one can clarify the truth well and validate Dafa. A good practitioner should influence everyone in their surroundings with words and deeds that transmit an upright message.
For a long time I treated myself as a "little Dafa disciple." When composing experience sharing articles, I've considered whether I should get rid of the word "little" as part of my name. I used to have the attachments of not wanting to grow up, being afraid of suffering, and being unwilling to shoulder the pressures of life. During cultivation, I did not require myself to be as diligent as I should, enabling myself to cover up attachments with the intention of evading my historical responsibility.
Dafa cultivation is strict, and there is not a lower standard for younger practitioners. As young practitioners, we must know that we cannot delay Fa study, exercises, and sending forth righteous thoughts. We must utilize all possible opportunities to clarify the truth of Dafa. Most importantly, we must study the Fa well, and clearly understand the principles of the Fa, so that we will be clear on important matters and direction as far as Dafa cultivation is concerned.
October 18, 2009