Learning the Fa
I began practicing Falun Dafa in March 1998. One of my husband's colleagues told him about the miracles and outstanding effects of Dafa and gave him a copy of the book Zhuan Falun. When I picked up this book, I felt so good as I read it that I finished reading the entire book without stopping. I really felt sorry for not having discovered Dafa sooner. I very much wanted to learn the exercises, so a practitioner came to my home to teach me that night. I finally found the practice site one morning, and the assistant patiently helped to correct my movements. I did all the exercises with the group. On the way home I was so happy. When I went up stairs, I held the railing and jumped to the second floor like a naughty child. I said to myself, "This is what I've been looking for my whole life and now I have finally found it."
Since then I've regularly attended group study and group practice. I've acted according with the Fa principles and disciplined myself to meet the requirements of a practitioner. In the process, my health and temperament have spontaneously improved. I was always very introverted before I became a practitioner, and I often held silent grudges over conflicts with my husband and didn't talk to him for up to two weeks. He never knew why I was angry with him. After I started practiced Falun Gong, I became open, considering others first, and did almost all the housework. One time when I made beef dumplings, he didn't want me to use a meat mixer, claiming that it didn't taste as good that way. I had everything ready, but he still sat there watching TV. I was a bit angry, but then thought, "I'm a practitioner, I should not be angry!" I repeatedly recited, "What is Forbearance (Ren)," from Essentials for Further Advancement. When I finished making the dumplings, my husband walked up to me and said, "Are you angry?" I said cheerfully, "Do I look like I am angry?"
He saw my physical and mental changes and was very happy, so he made a point of supporting me in my Falun Gong practice. Sometimes I played Teacher's lectures on videotape and he listened, and when I went to evening group study, he looked after our son at home. Once when we were having a meal, my son told his father about the relationship of loss and gain. He basically used Teacher's original words. Both my husband and I were very surprised, and I felt that our whole family had such a joyful life.
Breaking Through the Attachment of Sentiment
When the persecution began on July 20, 1999, the situation for practitioners drastically changed. Fellow practitioners and I went to Beijing by train and shared our own experiences, such as the physical and mental benefits we had experienced, to validate the Fa. Upon our return, the factory where we worked detained us in a brainwashing session for seven days. We were not frightened and were soon once again practicing the exercises at the seashore. Security officers then placed us under house arrest. During this period of time, my husband endured a great deal of stress, and tried to force me to write a "guarantee statement" promising to stop practicing, but I refused. He then called my mother for "reinforcement." My mother lived over 300 miles away and the route was difficult to travel. My younger brother brought Mother, in her 70s, on a tricycle to my home. She arrived after 1:00 a.m., so you can imagine her mood. When I saw her, I burst into tears. The pressure was intense and I realized that seeing her was a test of my attachment to sentimentality. Only by letting go of sentiment can you be compassionate toward anyone. My mother tried to force me to write the guarantee statement, so the factory personnel would release me. When I refused, she said, "If you don't write it, I'll kill myself in front of you. Our mother and daughter relationship will end, and you can never come home again."
Mother couldn't convince me and left very angry. She was not satisfied and went to the apartment where I was being held under house arrest. She went to the second floor and told me that she wanted to leave. A fellow practitioner gave her a cup of water and let her calm down, but she began choking, then went downstairs. Through the window I watched her leave and burst into tears. I thought about Teacher's poem in Hong Yin,
Who Dares Renounce Human Attachments?
While the ordinary man might
long for Immortaldom,
Behind the unbelievable wonders
lies wrenching sorrow;
It takes cultivating the mind,
casting off attachments,
Lest man be lost in his ordeals
and gripped with deep regret.
However, I finally passed the test and broke through the attachment of sentimentality, and improved my xinxing. Like Teacher said in Zhuan Falun,
"Once you upgrade your xinxing, your body will undergo a great change. Upon xinxing improvement, the matter in your body is guaranteed to transform. What kind of changes will take place? You will give up those bad things that you are attached to."
That night, when I was half asleep, I felt that my body was so light, as if it was floating up like a balloon.
Afterwards, I learned that Mother had taken my Dafa books, two handwritten copies of Zhuan Falun, and the lecture discs. I quickly called her and told her that she could not destroy them, especially because the books were limited in our area and it was the only set we had. Mother said she had burned them all. I howled and told her not to destroy them. She was touched to hear me sobbing and asked my brother to tell me that she did not in fact, burn them but had kept them for me. This built a foundation for her to learn the Fa afterwards. Mother said to my brother that the book contained divine things; otherwise I would not have been so reverent.
Distributing Informational Materials to Save Sentient Beings
My family understood the truth, but there were still so many sentient beings waiting to be saved. When I first brought informational materials home, my mother worried and feared for my safety and didn't let me distribute them. I told her about the importance of saving people and reminded her that I took my sister-in-law, nephew, and niece out with me, and that we all returned safely every time. Mother didn't know how to send forth righteous thoughts but kept begging Teacher for protection until we returned. Sometimes she asked me to wear either her hat or Father's hat and to put on extra clothes to stay warm.
Once when I was in a village, I was followed when I still had half of my materials to distribute. I didn't know what to do. When I went to the end of the road and came back, I saw two people with flashlights. I asked myself, "What should I do?" There was no other way. I humbly asked Teacher to protect me. When I got close to the entrance of the village, I saw that it was my primary schoolteacher, who later became my colleague, standing in front of me. He was surprised to see me and said, "It is you. If it was someone else, I would certainly report them!" I replied, "Teacher, no matter who it is, you should not report them. I come here for your benefit. This is the last disc explaining the truth of the 'Self-immolation.' I have kept one especially for you. You must cherish it--don't destroy it." He told me to be careful, and then we walked to another village.
My family and relatives have all learned the truth and withdrawn from the Chinese Communist Party organizations. They have also helped to transmit Dafa's message and distribute materials. My older brother-in-law has been especially earnest and does not waste a single item. Dafa rewards all of them. He often goes to other cities for work. On one occasion, 380 volts of electric current went through his arm, but he was actually fine, and everyone else said that he was so lucky. My second younger brother carried several people on a tricycle. They all fell into a big hole, but no one was injured. My parents are now also practicing Dafa. Father had gum cancer before, and was left with paralysis. After listening to Teacher's lectures however, he has basically recovered.
We have gained so very much from Dafa, but we have given back so little. We are still far from meeting Teacher's requirements and being at the level of diligent practitioners. However, I am not discouraged and will try my best to study the Fa more, send forth righteous thoughts well, and save more sentient beings!
My understanding is limited. Please correct me if there are any mistakes!