(Clearwisdom.net) Recalling my cultivation journey during the past nine years, I feel that it was a process of incessantly rejecting the old forces' arrangements. At the beginning I was puzzled, but later became righteously determined. During the above-mentioned process, I have endured so many hardships. However, with Master's benevolent protection and based on a righteous belief in Master and Dafa, I have made it through steadfastly. I think that as long as Dafa disciples keep righteous thoughts and righteous actions, all the arrangements of the old forces will fall apart.
1. Negating the Old Forces' Persecution at My Workplace
Since July 20, 1999, when the persecution began, officials of the 610 Office and the police station had not harassed me very much. However, the leaders of my work unit were very vicious and often actively persecuted me. There were over 1,000 people in my workplace. The head of my work unit had gone abroad many times, so he should have had more opportunities to understand the truth about Falun Gong. Nevertheless, he persisted in persecuting me for many years.
In 2001, pictures slandering Falun Gong were exhibited in the show window at my workplace, so I decided to clarify the facts to the leaders of my work unit. At that time, the leader of my work unit had just taken his post. Therefore, I went to clarify the facts to the Party secretary. Because I had an attachment to fear and my state of mind was not stable, the secretary struck the table and was furious with me. Later, I wrote an anonymous letter to the secretary and clarified the facts. Finally, they took down those pictures. The leader and the secretary of my work unit were afraid that I would influence their political futures, so they exerted pressure on me. The leader, secretary, Safety and Security Section chief and secretary (who held the position of head assistant) and the nurse in charge held meetings planning to persecute me. They talked to my husband many times and forced him to sign various papers. They then forcibly arrested me and took me to the Provincial Drug Rehabilitation Center.
Over the past few years, the leaders of my work unit made special arrangements for the nurse in charge to monitor me. With the support of the work unit leaders, the nurse in charge spared no effort to persecute me. They monitored my every action, including my behavior, communications and social contacts. During that time, my work environment was oppressive; I was depressed and felt as though a huge mountain was pressing on me. I tried to get transferred to a different work section, but the leaders denied my request. Therefore, I even wanted to resign. At night, I dreamed that a villain pursued me and I escaped but had to hide. Other practitioners were worried about me. I realized that I should not feel dejected anymore, and that I must reject all arrangements of the old forces. I said, "I will not feel dejected and will be steadfast and make it through."
I decided to walk my cultivation path and I believe that I was able to cultivate well. I told myself that I must remain steadfast and be diligent, diligent, and more diligent. I began to cherish each minute, always found time to study the Fa, and was strict with myself in my daily life and at work. I tried to pay attention to minor details, and made my daily life simple and economical. While washing clothes and cleaning the floor, I recited the Fa. For many years, I have never watched TV or gone shopping for entertainment, and have devoted myself to cultivation. When encountering a problem, I asked myself how would a divine being deal with this incident, and what would he do? Thereby, I rectified myself according to a god's standard.
I especially paid more attention to sending forth righteous thoughts. I asked my mother to help me send forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil factors that controlled the perpetrators in my workplace. I tried to not miss the designated hours to send forth righteous thoughts. While walking, working and even in my sleep, I sent forth righteous thoughts. When I returned home after work, I first sent forth righteous thoughts before I started to do the cooking. After cooking, I would send forth righteous thoughts again, and then have supper. Sometimes when I got up at 11:50 p.m., I would send forth righteous thoughts for half an hour until I felt clearheaded.
In the morning, I got up at 3:00 or 4:00 a.m. to do the five sets of Falun Gong exercises. Sometimes I felt really sleepy and was not clearheaded. I then strengthened my main consciousness and forced myself to persevere with sending forth righteous thoughts and doing the sitting exercise to break through this state. Later, I realized that the sleepy state mainly came from interference of thought karma. Therefore, I strengthened the cleaning up of my niwan palace. I incessantly studied the Fa, sent forth righteous thoughts and clarified the facts. As a result, my righteous thoughts became stronger and stronger, and I gained more confidence in rejecting the old forces' arrangements.
During one vacation, my mother, elder sister, younger sister and I formed a circle to send forth righteous thoughts. At that time, we felt that our righteous thoughts were powerful and the energy field was strong. After we had sent righteous thoughts for half an hour, my mother heard a voice saying, "You are successful."
From the summer of 2003 to the autumn of 2005, I constantly persevered in sending forth righteous thoughts.
2. Negating the Old Forces' Taking Advantage of My Sentimentality
As soon as I started practicing, my former boyfriend began to phone me. Although I resolutely refused to talk to him and thus he did not phone me anymore, I felt that I had not completely gotten rid of the attachment of sentimentality (qing). Over the past few years, I have always paid attention to my cultivation in this aspect, and have been strict with myself both in mind and actions. In my workplace, except for clarifying the facts, I rarely had contact with the opposite sex. In particular, I never indulged in sentimentality during my dreams and thus passed these tests many times.
Last September, a local practitioner was arrested and detained at a forced labor camp. I knew the division chief who detained this practitioner. I had met with him in 1998 and at that time I had a sense of knowing him, but did not think about it more. After the CCP (Chinese Communist Party) began to persecute Dafa disciples, his mind was poisoned and utilized by the CCP and acted as an accomplice to the persecution. He became the key person who persecuted Dafa disciples at that labor camp. His evildoing was exposed on the Minghui/Clearwisdom website many times. Because I did not contact him often, I knew little about him. I had only read the articles exposing his persecution of practitioners.
This time, because this practitioner was detained in his division and suffered from inhumane torture, I intended to rescue this practitioner by talking with the division chief. After we had met once, he suddenly one day came to my workplace to tell me that he loved me. I was extremely shocked because I had never even had this kind of thought.
I rejected him at once, but I had not given up the thought of rescuing the practitioner. I wanted him to help me with the rescue, and that day he promised to help me to rescue this practitioner. However, several days later, I learned that the practitioner was still being tortured at that camp. I felt very worried, and felt that I was in a dilemma. I
Some practitioners told me, "Ignore him. He came for persecuting Falun Gong and don't keep in touch with him." Others said, "Over the past few years he has been persecuting practitioners. However, nobody is able to clarify the facts to him face to face. If you do not save him, he will lose his future." I thought since the division chief brought up such thoughts with me, there must be unrighteous factors in my dimensional field. These factors were taken advantage of by the old forces and interfered with my cultivation. In spite of vows that may have been made between the old forces, him and me before this period of history, I would reject them thoroughly and completely negate them.
I began to eliminate the demons of sentimentality with firm righteous thoughts. I also strengthened my righteous thoughts and send forth a powerful and firm thought that I would not only rescue this practitioner but also clarify the facts to the chief and thus save him. No matter how hard it might be, I was determined to do well. I knelt down and made a vow in front of Master's picture, "Master, I will never stumble in sentimentality. I must walk my Fa-rectification path righteously and help save more sentient beings."
Later, during the process of rescuing the practitioner, I felt that my sentimentality had greatly been eliminated for a period of time, but emerged again at another period of time. This kind of cultivation state repeatedly occurred. I always kept very strong righteous thoughts and strengthened my main consciousness so that when my mind relaxed, I was able to remind myself. Sometimes, some scenes emerged in my mind, which seemed very real. I then immediately became vigilant and resisted them. When I had a meeting with the division chief, I clarified the facts to him. I was able to talk in a compassionate tone of voice and my attitude was calm but serious. I did my best to uphold the situation and send forth righteous thoughts all the time. At the beginning, he said that he would change me. However, with my righteous thoughts and righteous actions, the bad factors that controlled him were eliminated. As a result, he began to change and did not say anything bad. He began to show respect for me and later quit the CCP.
After quitting the CCP, he changed greatly. He even said that he would no longer persecute Falun Gong practitioners. Two months later, our local forced labor camp transferred all detained practitioners to other places. They said that this was because of orders from higher authorities. In reality, nobody exerted any more power to persecute practitioners. The practitioner was released in July of this year because we worked as one body and were thus able to rescue him.
Recalling this process, I realize now that the old forces have never actually intended to help us to fulfill our wishes; they just wanted to ruin us. They use the demons of sentimentality within the Three Realms to interfere with the Fa-rectification process and with saving sentient beings. As long as we are rooted in the Fa and have our minds set on benevolently saving sentient beings, have righteous thoughts and righteous actions, and with Teacher and the Fa here, we are destined to dissolve the evil. The most important thing is that we should measure up, not seek comfort, and be worthy of the honorable title of Dafa Disciples. We should not give Master reason to worry about us too much.