(Clearwisdom.net) On July 20, 1999 the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) started persecuting Falun Gong. They used lies, violence and slander to attack Falun Gong and have poisoned the minds of many sentient beings. Some non-practitioner family members of Falun Gong practitioners have been deceived to various degrees as well. The evil Party established an implication policy of "Guilt by Association." They ordered that different levels of bureaucracy in each local jurisdiction had to prevent all Falun Gong practitioners from going to Beijing to appeal for justice. The "red terror," Jiang's policy of "ruin their reputations, bankrupt them financially and destroy them physically" made practitioners' families live in a state of anxiety and fear. Practitioners' workplaces severely restricted practitioners' personal freedom as well.
I went to Beijing to appeal for justice for Falun Gong and was illegally arrested. Representatives from my workplace took me back and started to pressure me severely. They used the organization's system, manpower, financial resources and material resources to monitor me, restrict me and follow me. They pressured my family as well, and implicated all my relatives and co-workers through my actions. Anything I did would affect them. The pressure my family had to endure was unbelievable. They lived in daily fear of the evil Party.
My family members thought of different ways to have me give up Falun Gong practice. They never let me do anything alone. They watched my every step. They forbade me to talk to fellow practitioners. I did not have any opportunity to practice the exercises. I did not have any Dafa books, so I could not study the Fa. I truly understand how miserable it is for a practitioner to be away from the Fa and be away from fellow practitioners.
After a while I started thinking calmly: I am a cultivator! Falun Dafa is the righteous Fa of the universe. Do I just give up cultivation under the terror and pressure? Three years ago I was a common person who had just walked into cultivation. Master taught me the profound principles of Dafa and made me understand many questions I could not find answers before. Master pulled me out of hell, purified my body, installed Falun and planted the seed of cultivation for me. Master treats us as disciples and always protects us.
My comprehension of Fa principles went from the perceptual level to the rational level. If I gave up cultivation under pressure I would diminish Master's compassionate salvation! Gradually I became more clear-minded and wiser. I told Master in my mind, "Master, I was wrong! I will return to my cultivation path. I will study the Fa and practice the exercises. I will become Master's true disciple." After I was determined to keep cultivating, fellow practitioners sent me Dafa books and Master's new lectures, exercise tapes and truth-clarification materials. I returned to the cultivation path.
I studied the Fa diligently. Master gave me hints for many issues that practitioners should be aware of. I began to understanding the importance of clarifying the truth. I understood that I should no longer let the evil lies deceive my family and other sentient beings. I needed to tell them the truth about the persecution, awaken them from the evil lies and help them recognize the evil nature of the CCP.
I started clarifying the truth to my family. They were extremely nervous and forbade me to tell them anything. They did not want to listen to me. My husband threatened divorce. Whenever I clarified the truth to them, they hit me and scolded me. My friends and relatives could not understand me. I firmly believe that practicing Dafa is the righteous thing to do. I was quite clear on how I had cultivated myself during the past three years. Dafa taught me how to become a better person and eventually become a cultivator on a higher level who reaches consummation. I had been strict with myself. I had gotten rid of previous bad thoughts and behaviors. I had also become healthier. No matter how they treated me, I continued to practice Falun Gong. When my son saw me studying the Fa and doing the exercises he tried different ways to interfere. He screamed or turned up the volume of the television. I closed the door. He opened the door. My husband was even worse. However, I still persisted in practicing, studying the Fa and sending forth righteous thoughts. As long as I have the determination, Master has always arranged everything for me.
With a deeper understanding of the Fa principles, my righteous thoughts became stronger and stronger. I continued the truth-clarification efforts with my friends and relatives. Initially they could not understand me. Some did not accept what I said and put up road blocks for me. That did not affect me. As long as I had the opportunity, I kept clarifying the truth to them, one by one. The most challenging was my immediate family - my husband and my son. Every day I had to study the Fa, do the exercises and send forth righteous thoughts in this environment. I asked, "Master, please help me and strengthen me! I am a practitioner. I want to practice and to break through. I want to do everything well and do not want them to put up road blocks for me." Master thus arranged many opportunities for me to practice.
I decided that no matter what, I needed to clarify the truth to my family. But every time I clarified the truth to my husband he scolded me, which made me feel very sad. So I decided to clarify the truth to my son and awaken him. My son did not want to listen to me either. He screamed as soon as I started talking to him. He would run away if I tried to talk more. So, I chased after him and talked to him. Now that I recall, I was still using human notions. I did this for two years. But it was not effective.
One day my son was sick and hospitalized, but the doctors could not tell what the problem was. They just gave him injections. My son suffered a lot. I was not worried this time. Instead, I looked compassionately at my son and started clarifying the truth to him. I explained to him the direct relationship between one's wrongdoings and retribution. I told him of the wonders of Dafa and told him the crimes the evil Party committed by persecuting Dafa. The doctor said they could not arrive at a diagnosis or treatment and decided to send him home. After we returned home my son sat on the sofa. I said, "Let me play a truth-clarification tape for you." That day my son finally understood the truth.
After that my son started helping me. I thoroughly studied Master's lectures. Based on the Fa principles, I understand that I am a practitioner in the Fa-rectification period. I have great responsibilities and missions. I understand I came to the human world as a result of prehistoric vows. I came here to correct my mindset as well as to rescue sentient beings. I started to wisely rescue my relatives, friends, classmates and even some people I do not know. No matter how hard it is, as long as I have the determination to rescue people, I will try my best to do it. Many people were shown a way to salvation through my efforts. Eventually they began rescuing others after they understood the truth.
As Fa-rectification advances rapidly, the requirements for practitioners become stricter. Dafa requires practitioners to progress to higher and higher xinxing levels. The issues I need to fix presented themselves to me as well. My husband was never willing to listen to the truth about Dafa. He forbade me to do the exercises or study the Fa. I often had to move my Dafa books around to avoid him. When he found a book, he would destroy it. My son helped me. As soon as his father left home he would tell me to take time to study the Fa and do the exercises, and he would take care of the housework. When his father returned he would watch for him by the door. It was during that time when we needed to send forth righteous thoughts every hour on the hour, more than ten times daily. Often times my husband stayed home. My son would remind me of the time for sending forth righteous thoughts. If my husband was in the bedroom I would go to the living room. If he was in the living room I would go to another room. My son was running between us. Finally, his father found out that he was helping me. So, his father stopped talking to him for six months. My husband again asked for a divorce. The family conflict became more severe.
Faced with these family pressures, what should I do? Using human notions would never work. I could not let my son endure the tests I had to endure and overcome myself. I discovered that a deeply-rooted attachment, "the attachment to self," covered up by human notions. This is a rotten substance from the old cosmos. It hides in my body and my dimensions. I had not eliminated it. This attachment made use of my human notions and gave me false information in the human world. From the Fa's perspective I understand that conflicts are tests for practitioners. Master taught us to look inward, examine ourselves and cultivate ourselves when facing conflicts. I had not recognized the path I needed to walk. These were tests and issues I had to face but I pushed away the things I needed to cultivate more.
My son does not practice Falun Gong. He is just an everyday person. I am a practitioner. I had not cultivated from the perspective of the Fa. Instead, I used human notions and had my son endure something for me. How could I say that this was the behavior of a practitioner? I had not adequately explained the truth to my husband, which made him still have the wrong understanding of Dafa and caused him to even commit a crime toward Dafa. I was not thinking that my son and husband were lives that also came here for Dafa. I treated the family conflicts as battles between righteousness and evil. One day, my son said to me, "Mom, are you still practicing? Look at yourself. You are so selfish! Aren't you cultivating 'Truthfulness-Compassion-Tolerance'? Which one are you in line with now? You have a bad temper. You only care about yourself. You yell if people are not doing things your way." My son was right.
I started looking inward. Indeed, what my son said were the facts. In the past several years I was lax in my xinxing cultivation. I had not considered that my family presents me with a great cultivation environment. In this family I viewed myself as an everyday person instead of a practitioner. I did not realize that my husband's objections to my cultivation were not his own intentions. He was also controlled by the evil factors behind him.
After I realized these things, I started correcting my every single thought. I reflected, "Why wasn't I able to explain the truth to him? Every time I explained about Dafa he brought up the issue of divorce. Why is he against this? Where is the problem? My corrected field should have a positive impact on him, and he should not be against this." Looking inward, I realized that the problem must reside with me. I asked myself, "Are you diligent in cultivation? Are you in line with Dafa's requirements and standards? Have you treated him with compassion? Have you thoroughly explained the truth to him? Every time he scolded you, did you treat him with a practitioner's mindset?" My answer was no. This self-examination scared me. I was not rescuing him. I was pushing him onto the path the old forces had arranged to destroy sentient beings. I did not walk well the path Master arranged for me. How dangerous it was!
If a practitioner does not look inward, does not recognize his or her own mistakes, does not walk the path Master arranged for him/her, the old forces will take advantage of him or her, in order to destroy practitioners and sentient beings. After I realized that, I started treating my family interactions as part of my cultivation. The previously unsatisfactory behaviors needed to be corrected. My husband is also a living being waiting for salvation. After I clarified the truth to him once, if it did not work, I should do it twice, three times. I will let him understand the truth. I will not let the old forces destroy him.
I understood that I must improve myself first. Since then, my cultivation environment improved as well. My husband knows that I study the Fa, do the exercises and send forth righteous thoughts. But he never intervenes any more. Once he found my MP3 player that I use for practicing the exercises, and he took it away. I said to him, "This is for me to practice the exercises. Please return it to me. You should no longer destroy anything that is related to Dafa. Please treat Dafa well. This will bring you good fortune in the future." That time he really did not do anything negative and returned it to me.
Since we started sending forth righteous thoughts every hour on the hour in our area, our righteous thoughts have had a great impact. While I was sending forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the dark minions, rotten demons, the Communist evil spirit and the meddling deities who are preventing sentient beings from being saved and understanding the truth, I also added one more thought: eliminate all evil factors behind my husband. Now, our interpersonal communication has been better and better. I told myself: He can definitely be rescued.
While I was continuously improving myself and eliminating my human notions and attachments, Master has watched over me and given me hints. After I realized more of the Fa principles and raised my xinxing, Master would remove some bad substances for me. I always tell myself: my determination to firmly believe in Dafa and firmly believe in Master has enabled me to continuously walk my path, step by step.
The reason why I wrote this experience sharing article is because I wanted to share these understandings with fellow practitioners. This is showing my mindset as a practitioner, and it is also the path I have walked so far. In the meantime, during my cultivation process, fellow practitioners' tolerance, compassion and encouragement are all factors that contributed to my determination in cultivation. I would like to take this opportunity to thank fellow practitioners who have supported and helped me.