(Clearwisdom.net) I began practicing Falun Gong in 1996. I work in the service field of a railroad system. In my job, I have to deal with people who were deeply influenced by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) culture and are used to talking with a confrontational attitude, using conflicting words and concepts, and having an unclear mind. It is very tough to deal with them. But I have forced myself to be more tolerant and have more compassion. Unfortunately I can easily fall to the realm of an everyday person if I am not strict with myself.
I felt depressed for not being diligent enough in my cultivation, and for still possessing so many human notions and attachments. I wish I could do well and be a qualified and true disciple of our revered Master. Yet there always seems to exist some kind of attachment to the pursuit of comfort that prevents me from spending enough time on Fa study and doing the exercises. I had tried to look inside to find where I fell short, but had no clear clues. Those attachments were always lingering there. A few days ago, I had a bitter quarrel with a customer due to my contentious heart. When the other party threw beer in my face, I didnt hold back. In the end, my conduct had conveyed a bad reputation toward Dafa and I missed the opportunity to tell that person the truth about Falun Gong.
In retrospect, in addition to not having studied the Fa and done the exercises enough, there was another reason. I had grown up in the CCP culture. As a result, my way of thinking, perspective and conduct were badly poisoned by it. This was especially true in regard to the "class struggle philosophy" and an attitude that is anti-universe, anti-nature, anti-human and fearless of heaven and earth. So I sent righteous thoughts to dissolve these factors. Immediately I felt my world become clear and clean and my mind free of any bad substances.
Just at that time, Masters lecture "Teaching the Fa in Canada, 2006" was published. Master said,
"Many students understand only that doing the exercises and studying the Fa are cultivation. Yes, with those you directly engage the Fa. But as you go about truly cultivating yourself in your day-to-day life, the society that you come into contact with is your cultivation environment. The work and family environments that you spend time in are both settings in which you are to cultivate yourselves, are part of the path you must walk, are what you must handle, and handle correctly at that. None of these should be glossed over. When you have made it to the end, [a question would be]: How did you travel the path that Master arranged for you? When all is said and done, these things have to be taken into account. And in the course of your cultivation these things have to be looked at, too. So you shouldn't neglect anything. As far as convenience goes, [in Dafa] a person can cultivate without having to enter a monastery, go to a secluded mountain, or leave the secular world. But from another perspective, all of this adds a layer of difficulty: If you are to make it through, you have to do well with things such as all of the above, and do well in every aspect of your life."
I know that my work contains aspects of cultivation, and the true state of my cultivation would be reflected in my work and family environment. I didnt treat the society, workplace, and family I encounter as places for my cultivation though. This is a path I must walk, areas I must face, and must face correctly without any neglect. Because it is a path arranged by our Master, we must do well so as to walk out of humanness, be responsible for sentient beings, and exist with Fa-rectification. This is our way of cultivation.
After becoming clear about this Fa principle, I began to regard everywhere I spent time at as a cultivation environment, be it in society, workplace or home. I began to correct every single thought and action of mine with the Fa. As soon as a bad thought popped up, I restrained and disintegrated it right away and never acknowledge that it was mine. By doing so, I found endless joy in cultivation of Dafa.
I believe that from now on, I will follow more closely Masters Fa-rectification process and take advantage of the precious time to study the Fa, do the exercises, send forth righteous thoughts and clarify the truth about Falun Gong. By doing so, Im becoming more diligent and qualified as a true disciple of our Master.
I have submitted papers to the Clearwisdom website several times and have never seen them published. I know that I have not cultivated well and still have too many human notions and a poor enlightenment quality. Before I wrote this paper, I hesitated again and told myself that it was no use to write it as it would not get published. However, as soon as the thought occurred this time, I got rid of it right away because it didnt belong to me. I am not attached to whether my article will be published or not. My only wish is to borrow a small corner of Clearwisdom to expose my shortcomings and rectify them. I would also like to share my cultivation experiences, tribulations and improvements with fellow practitioners, as well as report to our revered Master and express my gratitude.
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