(Clearwisdom.net) After repeatedly reading through Teacher's recent article "Pass the Deadly Test," I gained a further understanding of our Teacher's great mercy and the seriousness of Dafa cultivation. In the meantime, I feel the urgency of cultivating and also have a new perspective on getting rid of fear. Only through serious cultivation can we get rid of fear and pass the deadly test. Teacher said,
"Fear can cause one to make mistakes, and fear can cause one to lose a predestined opportunity. Fear is a death trap on a human being's journey toward divinity." ("Pass the Deadly Test," May 9, 2006) (quote verified)
While looking inward, I noticed that I have many notions of fear hidden deep in my heart, mainly in the following four aspects.
First, I was afraid of my supervisors. As a result of being brainwashed by the Chinese Communist Party since I was a child, and also being polluted in the ordinary society after growing up, I've unintentionally formed a fear of my supervisors. Sometimes, I could be groveling to the managers; other times I would flatter them. Sometimes, I would even do things the managers told me to do, regardless whether they were right or wrong. If my manager asked me to drink alcohol on some occasions, I did not dare to reject it. A genuine practitioner should never behave in such a manner. But why did I behave like that? The reason was my lack of understanding on the seriousness of cultivation, and being afraid of losing what I had. I didn't treat my managers with a practitioner's compassion and righteous thoughts, rather I used ordinary people's notions when dealing with them. How can a practitioner fear ordinary people? They are all sentient beings to whom we should provide compassionate salvation.
Secondly, I was afraid of my wife. My wife's beauty and talent are very outstanding among ordinary people. Previously, I felt very proud. My wife was not always supportive in my cultivation practice and often argued with me. I was afraid that my wife would not be happy. I was afraid that she would oppose my practice and hence bring something bad upon herself. Therefore, I always allowed her to hinder my Fa study, doing the Falun Gong exercises, sending forth righteous thoughts and truth clarification. Gradually, I unintentionally developed the notion of fear. Sometimes when I did the exercises at home, I would immediately stop upon hearing her footsteps coming upstairs. I am far from reaching the standard of a Dafa disciple. When I was looking within in order to find the root cause, I wondered why I feared my wife. The reason was that I had too many ordinary human notions and had not taken the qing toward my wife lightly. I worried about hurting our relationship. I didn't treat my wife with compassion as I did other ordinary people. How could a genuine practitioner fear his wife? I should treat cultivation very seriously, treasure this incredible opportunity and accommodate my own family with a disciple's righteous thoughts, and truly achieve "The Buddha-light illuminates everywhere and rectifies all abnormalities." ("Lecture Three" in Zhuan Falun) quote verified
Thirdly, I was afraid of enduring hardship. Sometimes, I was fairly lazy and attached to an easy and comfortable lifestyle. I haven't practiced the meditation exercise often. I would often find a reason for not doing it. Even when I did the meditation exercise, I wouldn't be able to do it for very long. The real reason was my fear of the pain and enduring hardship. Teacher said,
"But in reality, what human society takes to be truths are, from the perspective of the cosmos, inversions of truth; when humans go through hardship and suffer it is so that they may pay off karma and thereby have happiness in the future. A cultivator thus needs to cultivate by correct and upright truths. Going through hardship and suffering is an outstanding opportunity to remove karma, be cleansed of sin, purify the body, elevate your plane of thought, and rise in level--it's an extraordinarily good thing. This is a correct and upright Fa-truth." ("The Closer to the End, the More Diligent You Should be" October 8, 2005) (quote verified)
So I should cultivate according to the upright principles and take hardship as joy.
Fourthly, I was afraid of being persecuted. Sometimes, when I was making truth clarification materials, I felt the element of fear deep down. When I was distributing truth clarification materials, I feared being seen by others. Sometimes when I was telling people the facts, I'd be afraid of being reported. Thereby, I wasn't able to achieve being upright, dignified and rock solid. I was afraid of being arrested and persecuted, and failed to use righteous thoughts in order to thoroughly negate and eliminate the arrangements of the old forces. How could a genuine practitioner fear persecution? How could a practitioner be afraid of difficulty and interference? As long as we walk on the path Teacher arranged for us, what do we have to be afraid of? What we are doing is the most upright thing, which is to assist Teacher in his Fa-rectification, and to provide salvation to all sentient beings. Why can't I do it in an upright and dignified manner according to the standard of Fa-rectification period Dafa disciples?
Having found and exposed my notion of fear, I am aiming to get rid of it and follow Dafa cultivation. Teacher said,
"Once you have recognized your problem, the key question is whether you are determined to get rid of it. Only when you are determined to emerge from it can it be called cultivation, and that is cultivation." ("Pass the Deadly Test") (quote verified)
I have the determination to get rid of it. I am sure that I can break through and pass the deadly test.