(Clearwisdom.net) Last night, I read Master's lecture "Teaching the Fa in San Francisco, 2005." I read that some Dafa disciples from mainland China had passed away because of the evil's persecution. Therefore, they considered that Master and Dafa had not protected the people who passed away, and some even had some complaints. My heart is so sad and I shed tears. How difficult it is to offer salvation to human beings. During these years of persecution I never dared to go to Tiananmen Square to petition for justice for Master and Dafa. It makes me feel ashamed. Therefore, from now on, I want to do my best to help the public learn the facts.
"Do you know that one of the biggest excuses the old evil forces use at present to persecute Dafa is that your fundamental attachments remain concealed? So in order to identify those people, the tribulations have been made more severe." ("Towards Consummation")
I belonged to those people whom they wanted to identify.
I began Falun Dafa cultivation in 1996. If Master had not gotten me out of hell, I do not know how many times I would have been killed. At that time, I suffered from diabetes mellitus for more than twenty years. I also had inflammation of the blood vessels, high cholesterol, hardening of the arteries in the brain, trifacial neuralgia, thickening of the capillaries in the eyes, a fatty liver, heart rhythm irregularities, chronic bronchitis, bursitis in my shoulder, fecal incontinence, and gynecological problems. The top of my head had a swelling (as big as a goose egg), the water vacuoles on my soles turned into pus. One after another, the fingers and the toes turned black, festered, and crusted (looking like pig's feet). My left ankle had a subcutaneous ulcer that broke three times, my limbs were cold and I also had other illnesses. It was Master's benevolent protection that saved me.
Although I attained Dafa very early, I did not do well, and always stopped and had doubts along the path of cultivation. As for doing the exercises and studying the Fa, I was also not conscientious and diligent, so I can only remember the words Master used to say but can not tell where and when it was published if I wanted to use them. Master never gave up on me. Due to limited space, I will just cite one example.
In the first half of 2004, several practitioners around me passed away, and I also developed symptoms of illnesses such as suddenly feeling bloated and painful, high blood pressure, and chest pain. But I immediately remembered what Master said,
"But although you can't see me in person, as long as you practice cultivation, I'm actually right by your side. And as long as you practice cultivation, I can be responsible for you all the way to the end." ("Teaching the Fa in New York City" from Lectures in the United States)
"If you do not care and do not put them on your mind, with the Master and the Fa here what is there to fear? As long as the green mountains remain, there is no fear of having no firewood to burn. Ignore them!" ("Lecture in Sydney")
I sent forth righteous thoughts. When the righteous thoughts rose, just in several minutes or even several seconds, the ill feelings vanished. Therefore, I understood that those practitioners who passed away may have encountered the same situation, but had no time or did not consider themselves as cultivators to ask Master to protect them at that time, so their lives were taken away by the evil, and they left with great sorrow.
In early September 2004, because of cultivating Dafa, all my illnesses were cured, and I became younger and better looking. The people around said that I had become "a person full of sunshine in her heart." Without any hardships, I was happily doing the things which I thought I should do. The attachments of elation and showing off stealthily sprouted. I got a purple blister that was as big as a dove's egg on my left kneecap, and then purple blood oozed from the blister, and the blister festered. Under pressure from both my relatives and the leader of my work unit, I began to feel a little afraid and went to the hospital. The chemical result was: blood sugar 16.84, after meal sugar 27.28, ketone 4+. The diabetic section refused to admit me, but sent me to orthopedics. I had a fever for two days and nights. On Monday when the doctors had a consultation about me, my leg was badly swollen. The wound was as big as a small plate and full of pus. A large area of muscle was necrotic. My calf and face looked bad. Without using any painkillers, the physician, about 35 years old, used tweezers that were 8 inches long and 2 centimeters wide to squeeze my wound as hard as he could. It hurt so much that I couldn't stop screaming. At that time I suddenly remembered the scene when the police cruelly tortured the practitioners.
When I had this thought, a Falun that was as big as a washbasin emerged above the northeast corner of my sickbed, and when I turned my head around, I saw another four Faluns of the same size, rotating at the southeast corner in a very deep dimension (now I realize it was a bigger Falun than the first one). I immediately became clear: I was a Dafa disciple, and I was a cultivator. Then I remembered a scripture of Master's that described a story of a Dafa disciple who was tortured. He just remembered to call for his mom but forgot to call to Master for help. Therefore, I immediately shouted, "Master please save me, sustain me."
Going to the hospital this time was an important lesson for me. The practitioners around helped me to find out what my fundamental attachments were, that I had practiced cultivation to cure my diseases, and that I had given up medicine to save money. I was not a genuine cultivator. What is a genuine cultivator? Should I keep on cultivating? This was the first time I seriously thought about this question. While writing this article, I realized that Master is really at our side. Even those practitioners, who can't see with their celestial eye, once they change their own concepts, and feel it attentively, will discover this. When encountering any tribulation we must realize that we are Dafa cultivators, so those evil things will not hurt us.
In order to offer salvation to us, Master has toiled for hundreds and thousands of years to take care of us. To let every Dafa disciple reach Consummation was Master's biggest wish. We should not regard Master with ordinary people's concepts.
Please let me send some words to our honorable Master, "Master, thank you, the disciples from my hometown miss you so much. We will steadfastly keep on cultivating until the end, being as solid and steady as diamond."