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Never Disappoint Master by Giving Up On Ourselves

February 10, 2006 |   By a Dafa practitioner in Mainland China

(Clearwisdom.net) During summer vacation when I was 20 years old, had just graduated from high school and was about to go to college, under the influence of my family, I was fortunate enough to begin practicing Falun Dafa. One year later, the evil persecution started. When many Dafa disciples firmly validated Dafa in the evil persecution, I was then unable to get myself out of the path arranged by the old forces, and my actions and speech deviated from Dafa.

In my dreams at that time, I was always sliding down. One time I dreamed of a ghost and that I had fallen into hell. It was terrible. I fortunately did not give up cultivation and Master also continued to give me chances.

In 2002 my mother took me with her to do some Dafa work with several other practitioners. Afterwards my cultivation state changed. We bought some excellent machines, rented a house, and established a Dafa materials production site. Since we could not get in touch with local practitioners, we produced and distributed the materials by ourselves. One practitioner who was responsible for technical maintenance worked at home and three of us went out to distribute materials.

One evening at 6 p.m., when it was time to send forth righteous thoughts, several of us were returning from distributing materials. We sent righteous thoughts as we walked. Suddenly a police car approached at high speed. Just as it passed us, one of its tires blew out and it came to a stop. We said that it was caused by the righteous thoughts we sent forth. I witnessed the power of righteous thoughts for myself.

The practitioner that distributed materials with me was also a young girl. At first she was introverted, timid, and not good at clarifying the truth face to face. She had the attachment of fear and muttered and mumbled when she talked. However, after clarifying the truth for a while, she quickly and amazingly broke through her attachment. I deeply feel that Dafa can really enable one to make breakthroughs. When we both brought VCDs and other materials onto a bus, she told me that she wanted to hand out the discs to the passengers. I said that we should distribute the materials when we get off the bus. When the bus stopped at the destination, she gave everyone a VCD. When I saw her handing out materials so openly, my fear appeared and I got off the bus. However, I was regretful. I had a desire to excel, so I gave the driver a disc. She asked what was on it and I told her it was about Buddhism. She seemed afraid and did not accept it. I have thought it over and now believe that I was fearful and my heart was not pure. How can the effect be good when righteous thoughts are insufficient? I could see that most of the people accepted the VCDs from the other practitioner. We left quickly and I led her into the alley, thinking that I was smart, and we fled. Actually, these were the notions of an ordinary person!

When I started distributing materials, my fear was not serious. For example, I put up self-sticking posters under the eyes of the police. Two of us would go into a phone booth and pretend to make a phone call. The other person shielded me and I rapidly put up the poster. Even during the daytime, when there are many people, we were not afraid. We put up many posters. Nevertheless, I feel that the reason I didn't have fear was not because I had reached the level of no fear in cultivation, but because I didn't know any better and because I was unaffected by persecution . Because our daily work was to doing Dafa-related things, we had enough time to study the Fa, share experiences and distribute materials. During that period I improved rapidly, my understanding of Fa principles became clearer. and the qing that I was attached to became less. Whenever my bad desires appeared, I recited the Fa. Every time I distributed materials it went very smoothly. I did not encounter any danger and felt very relaxed.

Then, with the red evening glow all over the sky, I looked at the horizon and felt very peaceful and calm. I could not express my happiness in being completely illuminated by the Fa. Master encouraged me like this now and then.

When we first came here to produce truth-clarification materials, my mother had a dream in which she dreamed of four hazelnuts (there are four of us), from the largest to the smallest. After Mom had the dream, the four of us looked at each other and laughed, and I said, ashamedly, that the smallest one was I.

We unanimously believed that the largest one was Mom, because she was the eldest and also cultivated the best. Soon we moved to another place to produce truth-clarification materials. On the evening we arrived, I had a dream in which I saw four hazels. This time, however, the four hazel kernels were at a huge hazel center and they were all the same size, round and solid. After I woke up, I knew that it was Master encouraging me and telling me I had become mature. I was as big as they and we were together, meaning that we were a whole body. I also dreamed that several people were cleaning the street and that there were many hazels buried in the sand. I realized that Master was giving us a hint that there were many people here waiting for us to save them.

Recalling that precious time when our great benevolent Master gave us the opportunity to return to Dafa, there were also many regrets and shortcomings. For example, we did not make good and full use of the funds donated by practitioners to make truth-clarification materials. Our rent and living expenses were too large. Conflicts arose due to the emerging of sentimental attachments among practitioners. I did not realize clearly that it was the interference of the old forces trying to destroy us as a whole body.

Today I write down my cultivation experiences in order to tell practitioners who've fallen behind or have not been diligent that Master never gives up on anyone. He is always beside us, protecting us and encouraging us. We should not give up on ourselves. We should be worthy of ourselves and not disappoint Master!