(Clearwisdom.net) My mother and I have cultivated for several years. I don't quite understand my mother; I only know that cultivation is very important to her, and she says that without Dafa, her life is meaningless.
I was 11 when I started to practice. I knew that I should be a good child. Once I picked up a bill of one yuan and returned it to the child who lost it, and he was very grateful. When I caught many fish with a net, I put them back in the pond. I was very fond of playing, and I only went to the practice site once, but I still remember clearly the auntie who taught me the exercises.
I did not read "Zhuan Falun", and due to my shallow understanding of the Fa principles, I believed the lies that were shown on TV and spoken by my teachers. I was so scared. My brother threw away many Dafa books. My feelings of remorse are still very strong, and deep down in my heart I cannot forgive myself for letting that happen. If it happened right now, I would pick up the books and hide them; but at that time, I pretended I did not know what was going on.
Later on, I started to study the Fa and do the exercises. I felt that Dafa was so good, and it was indeed what I was looking for. I diligently followed the principles of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance, and I clarified the truth to my classmates and good friends. At school, the bicycle of one of the students was broken, so I helped her take the bike home. When we ran into someone who could repair the bike, I spent a yuan to get the girl's bike fixed, and she happily rode her bike home. After she left, I ran back home.
However, I did not apply the principles well enough: I did not pay attention during classes, I copied my classmate's homework, and I even lied when I did not complete my homework. For these reasons, my grades were not good. The conflicts were mounting between me and my classmates. Other students had a bad impression of me: I was inferior, lazy, stupid, and afraid of applying myself. I did not like myself. I not only brought a lot of misery to myself but also to my family. I was also very stubborn and suffered from feelings of inferiority. My heart was filled with the remorse of failure, and the strong pressure from my attachments forced me down deeper and deeper, as if I were locked inside a small dark room. I continued to stumble on my path of cultivation, and felt miserable.
Teacher has always helped me to enlighten, and rescued me many times. My third eye is open, but I felt fatigued and depressed all the time. I could not sleep at night, and the demons frightened me. I saw the transparent body of the Chinese Communist Party and other dark minions. When they piled on top of me, I could not breathe at all. Many of the dark minions were sucked into my body, and the Falun vaporized them. All of that consumed much of my energy, and I relied on sending forth righteous thoughts, studying the Fa, doing the exercises, and help from Teacher to survive day after day.
One day I was sleeping and my mother called me to get up to do the exercises. I did not get out of bed and did not do the exercises. In my semi-awakened state, I saw Teacher coming with a dragon, and the dragon stepped on me to wake me up. I opened my eyes and saw Teacher with grey hair. Teacher said, "I took all the bad stuff out and covered you with a protective shield. Now you should be alright, but why didn't you get up to do the exercises when your mother called you?" Then Teacher taught me how to do the exercises. I did not do the exercises well, and Teacher had to show me many times how to hold the wheel above my head and told me that he wanted to save all sentient beings. I knew that I had done a lot of things wrong and cried, and Teacher asked me, "Why are you crying?" Teacher left in a brief moment, and I made up my mind that from then on I would correct all my mistakes.
Even now, I am falling behind because of my attachments. Once I dreamed about a dragon carrying me to an enchanted palace that was set up by the old forces. I was rescued again by Teacher.
In my heart, I sincerely want to be good, save sentient beings, and be a true Dafa disciple. In my dream, I was surrounded by the evil forces, and was too weak to fight back. I fought once and was defeated, and the demons laughed at me and wanted to kill me. I wanted to destroy them, but they said that I did not have the ability. I then asked Teacher to rescue me, and Teacher did so as always.
I know within that Teacher is my relative, and everything in this dimension is an illusion. As for the evil forces, I know I have to eliminate them, and they are not qualified to persecute me. I believe that I can be selfless, consider others first, and save the sentient beings for my paradise. I must rescue my mother and other practitioners.
My mother was illegally sentenced to two years in a women's forced labor camp in Jinan City. There are many practitioners there, and the instructors and director are cruel CCP members. They would not let me visit my mother so I send forth righteous thoughts around the clock, and ask Teacher to strengthen me. I believe that my mother will return home.
I dreamed of an amazing young child once, and she asked me, "Starting to practice at age 13, isn't that a little too late?" I did not answer her, and she read a poem to me. After I woke up, all I could recall was one sentence: Move forward diligently, and don't slack off.
I want to go alone to Jinan City and visit my mother, and I know that I can do it. I am not going to school until my mother returns. Now I study the Fa, do the exercises, and look within. I don't go to my grandmother's house anymore, and I cook for myself. I bought many envelopes and put the truth-clarifying material in them. Every day I distribute clarifying materials and validate Dafa in order to make up the loss of my mother's arrest. Sometimes I even write my own truth-clarifying leaflets. I believe that I can do well in validating Dafa.
Everyone in my family seems to be selfish, and everyone needs money. My brother wants to buy a house for 480,000 yuan and get married; my father gave my brother all his money and did not give a penny to my mother. He would not visit my mother either. I must go and visit my mother, and I know that I can do it.
My mother's wish is to validate Dafa, and I should clarify the truth to people.
My mother left me her monthly pension and some other money. I can do a lot of things, because I am home all day. Only Teacher can rescue my mother, even though I too want to rescue my mother. We cannot ask anyone, but we can ask Teacher and believe in Teacher. In this lifetime, we are here to obtain the Fa and validate the Fa.
One day I told Teacher that I would always safeguard Dafa; after doing the exercises, I saw a huge Falun rotating. While the energy was surrounding me, I sensed my body was changing and realized how absurd human notions and pursuits are. I need to do two things well: to save sentient beings and carry out my mission. I am walking a straight and narrow path, and my heart must be righteous; if I don't watch out, I may fall down and ruin everything.
One time I saw a few school girls writing slanderous words everywhere including in the restrooms. I was very angry and used a rag to wipe every word clean. Those girls were so deeply poisoned. They wrote and I wiped. I watched them day after day. Wherever their words were written I wiped them clean.
One time I said to the girls, "The stories on TV are false, and my aunt also practices Falun Gong. Please don't believe what's on TV." They left and no longer wrote slanderous words on the walls. Perhaps my righteous thoughts restrained them; righteous thoughts are very important.
Please correct me if my understanding is not proper.