(Clearwisdom.net) Writing about verifying the Fa in recent years is a process of summarizing former experiences and discovering our shortcomings. Therefore, I write today to report to our great and merciful Master and fellow practitioners. Please point out any deficiencies or mistakes.
1. Walking Out of the Shadow of Fear
In 2004, after being released from a labor camp, my fear was very pronounced. In September, the head of the city 610 Office suddenly found me and wanted to take me to the brainwashing center. I was very nervous and could not say a word. This person unexpectedly threatened me by saying, "If you don't go now, the local police and legal bureau will make you go whether you want to or not. This time I have come to take care of you. Tomorrow I will pick you up from your elder sister's work unit."
That evening, I went to my elder sister's place and explained what was going on. I let her know what the people from the 610 Office were like, how they had threatened me, and how I had suffered at the labor camp. The entire evening, bad thoughts unceasingly ran through my brain. I sent forth righteous thoughts for a long time to eliminate them and my heart gradually calmed down. What should I do next? A thought jumped out, "Where is the problem, where does the truth need to be clarified? I should talk to his family members."
The next day, the 610 Office head came to pick me up. I took the chance to clarify the truth in the courtyard and said, "This is someone from the city 610 Office that has specifically targeted Falun Gong and will not let us study 'Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.' They claim that my thinking is questionable and they want to 'reform' me today. If I do not came back today, please be a witness: it is this man who took me away." The 610 Office head was very angry.
I returned at noon. When I got out of the vehicle, I started to explain to the people who were selling steamed buns by the roadside and the cleaning crew, "This is a 610 Office person." Then I stated that he had been persecuting practitioners for abiding by "Truthfulness, Compassion, Forbearance" for the past several years. I talked as I walked, all the way home. In the afternoon, after I finished sending forth righteous thoughts, my heart still beat too fast. I wished that Master would strengthen me so that I would not be so excited. I calmed down and went out to clarify the truth. I went to home of the head of the 610 Ofice. His mother was sitting downstairs, so I started to tell her what her son had done, how Falun Gong is spread, and about the world organizations to investigate the persecution of Falun Gong. I stated the advantages and disadvantages. Finally I told her that if her son continued to willfully persecute Falun Gong, he would face being sued. For her son's future, she must stop him. My voice was a little bit loud and a group of people came over to listen, so I clarified the truth to them and answered their questions. I thought in my heart, "It Master's merciful arrangement to let so many people hear the truth." Later I went to the head person's wife's work unit and clarified the truth to her and her co-workers.
I heard afterwards that this head person was chided by his mother after returning home. From his words I could tell that he was afraid that I might sue him.
Later it seemed that my elder sister was also controlled by the evil that had manipulated her own brother, so I went to my parents' home and told them the cause and effect of this event. I learned that my sister was afraid of this and didn't tell our parents about it. Through this matter, I realized that the evil was afraid of being exposed. Telling the truth should be open and aboveboard. It is they who should be afraid.
2. Walking Out of Selfishness, Improving Collectively
In May 2005, the local coordinator was illegally arrested and the truth-clarification materials production site was destroyed. Our area started constructing another site. However, the interference never stopped and sometimes materials were out of stock. When fellow practitioners ran out of materials, they came to me. At that time, I had purchased a PC, a CD burner, and some blank CDs, and I made CDs by myself. I spread these CDs by myself and felt safe because there was no connection to anyone else, so I didn't pay attention anyone else's business. In fact, my fear was strong and I wanted to protect myself.
Many fellow practitioners came to consult with me. I had a misunderstanding with the coordinator at that time. I thought that only those who studied the Fa and cultivated very well would be qualified to be a coordinator. So when I heard that someone was a coordinator, I took it for granted that he would have to be extraordinary. Because of this wrong perception, I was reluctant to take the responsibility of being a coordinator. That bad thought always interfered with me. On the other hand, I thought that if I did not do it, who would? Everyone was waiting and depending on someone else. Time doesn't wait. If Master lets you, do you or do you not take on the responsibility? Certainly you do. When others all look up to you, isn't it an arrangement by Master? I looked at Master's photo, and Master was smiling. I understood immediately. I went to a site for truth clarifying materials. When the local site started operating normally, the shipping the materials naturally became my job.
After the start of "three withdrawals" from the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) organizations, fellow practitioners came to me for Internet connection questions. I no longer rejected them. Instead I found someone who could do it. Thus, I have naturally became a "coordinator." Master said,
"The coordinators among Dafa disciples are in fact just coordinators, points of contact, and people who relay information..." ("Teaching the Fa at the Meeting with Asia-Pacific Students")
The coordinator is not the leader, so practitioners should not treat the coordinator as a leader and follow his or her every step, like a monk in a temple. Master said,
"The main reason is that people such as senior monks, supervisors, or abbots in temples are not necessarily of great inborn quality. Though they are abbots or senior monks, these are only positions of everyday people. They are also practitioners, except that they are professional ones. You practice cultivation at home as amateurs. Whether one succeeds in cultivation all depends on cultivating the heart. The same is true for everyone, and one cannot fall short even a bit." ("Lecture Seven" from "Zhuan Falun," 2000 translation version)
Master asks us not to forget to cultivate our xinxing while doing Dafa work, and to progress diligently on the path of Fa rectification.
In 2005, with the help of fellow practitioners from other towns, our area set up several Fa study sites and resumed group study. As soon as the Fa study site was set up, there was more contact among fellow practitioners and conflicts followed one after another. The side of me that hadn't learned the Fa thoroughly was exposed. I paid too much attention to routine work and not to cultivating my mind, and I sometimes became angry with fellow practitioners. I finally had to remind myself not get angry every time before I met with fellow practitioners.
Although I did not perform well, I felt lucky that fellow practitioners didn't contradict me or set up barriers between us. They always supported me. Looking into their hearts, I felt ashamed. I remembered that an older practitioner who talks excessively often came to my home. I once pointed this out to her but she didn't change much. Her behavior made me anxious, and I spoke to her too harshly. I felt that she was delaying my Fa study time. Afterwards I regretted my behavior.
When she came to my home again I warned myself: "Do not get angry and do not interrupt her. Be calm, like a practitioner." She started to be garrulous about some Fa clarification work she had done and how her heart had wavered during certain situations. Suddenly, a kind of respect emerged from my heart, sincere respect for this fellow practitioner. Walking through all the difficulties over these past years has really not been easy. I was no longer anxious about her, but felt that she was very endearing. Through this, I learned not to be attached to others' shortcomings, to put down my own feelings, and to look inside: enhancing ones own xinxing is of primary importance.
During this period, another thing happened that I didn't understand until today. Now I have a clear understanding of a coordinator's function. There are many practitioners in the nearby township that have created a very good cultivation environment. Group study and practice had persisted for two to three years. Since the "three withdrawals" began, they have done better and better. Compared with them, we lag far behind. There are few practitioners here and fewer practitioners who can clarify the truth face-to-face. So we spread more truth clarification materials and the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party.
After helping us set up the group study site, a coordinator from a nearby township mentioned my function as a coordinator many times: "The goal is to improve as one body through group experience sharing." From his conversation, I felt that he was very anxious about the situation in our area. However, I just didn't know how to coordinate so everyone could be lifted up together. When writing this draft, I suddenly realized that Master said,
"Actually, long ago I told the regional coordinators to manage things loosely, and that, except when it comes to group efforts, which need coordination, they shouldn't restrict the path that each Dafa disciple takes as an individual who's validating the Fa. So other than when it's a case of something bad for Dafa and the coordinator needs to put a stop to it, each Dafa disciple has to fully play his role and proactively do what he should as a Dafa disciple. " ("Teaching the Fa at the Meeting with Asia-Pacific Students")
I realized that raising each practitioner's xinxing is a matter for each individual practitioner. Practitioners should not rely on the coordinator. The path of Fa verification is walked by oneself.
3. Breaking Old Concepts, and Creating Small Truth-clarification Materials Sites Everywhere
I used to think that the person responsible for truth-clarification materials sites should choose the best, those that could put down their attachment to life and death, and those that had good cultivation of speech. When I saw that a practitioner who lagged behind after the persecution started had just come back to manage the materials site, I felt conflicted, "What type of person should be responsible for a materials site?" Looking at my own experience, I realized that the person responsible would meet this condition as long as he is doing the three things. I remembered that I had once read an article on the Minghui/Clearwisdom website, where a fellow practitioner said, "Fa truth clarification materials sites are the key targets of the evil's destruction." Because I was affected by the influence of such a concept, I put the practitioners working for the materials sites in the position where the evil persecuted them most heavily. I think that we should not acknowledge such ideas. Let those practitioners who have the ability set up more materials and Internet connection sites. Those who are suited should validate the Fa at their positions. From whatever position, we can all walk a path for Fa validation.
Finally I would like to use a segment from Master's poem to encourage everyone:
"The paths of cultivation are varied
But none is outside the Great Law
When one is attached to nothing
The path underfoot is naturally smooth"
("Unimpeded" from "Hong Yin" II, translation version A)