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To Become Mature Through Hardship

December 31, 2005 |   By Xingfang, a practitioner in China

(Clearwisdom.net) I am a farmer and grew up in a mountain village. Before I got to know Falun Dafa, I suffered from chronic nephritis, which caused frequent cramps in my legs. I often felt cold, became emaciated, and also suffered from sciatica. In the spring of 1996, when I was getting frustrated about my bad health, a friend introduced the book China Falun Gong to me. After I quickly finished reading this book, I felt very excited and happy. I thought that this exercise system was so wonderful. I started practicing Falun Gong at that time.

In July 20, 1999, the brutal persecution of Falun Gong started. In the winter of 2000, I was arrested for distributing truth-clarifying materials. The police ordered my cellmates to beat me to force me give up my cultivation. I thought that I was not wrong at all and would keep practicing Falun Gong no matter how brutally they beat me. Realizing that they had no way to force me to give up my belief, they had to yield to me and allowed me to do the exercises. But, later on, because I did not clearly see through the nature of the evil, I started cooperating with their requirements to some extent. I finally realized that this was not right, because once I started to cooperate with them, they aggravated their cruel persecution against me. I realized that cooperating with the evil was the direct cause of the intensified persecution. Later on when I chose never to cooperate with them again, the persecution against me decreased.

One day they locked me in the darkest cell, #25, where I suffered inhuman tortures. The situation at that moment would make most people tremble with fear. Because it was during the winter, it was very cold. Even so, they poured cold water on me for an hour every morning. At the beginning, I just thought that I was a cultivator and should not be afraid of the cold and freezing temperatures. But then the police started pouring more and more water on me, so that the cold was beyond the limit of my endurance. I thought, "Is this the way for me to reach Consummation? Of course not. Then it must be due to my attachments." I started examining myself internally. I realized that I had been very scared of the cold during my life. The old forces must have been taking advantage of this attachment of mine. Teacher said that nothing happens without a reason. But how could I change this situation? I recalled that Teacher had indicated that true information comes from a human being's yuanshen and our brain is just a message-processing factory. I thought, "How could the yuanshen be scared of the cold? It wouldn't. Only our human body feels the cold. If the yuanshen sent out a 'not cold' message, the human body wouldn't feel the cold at all." Thus I kept sending forth the "no cold" message with determination, and as a result, pouring water on me truly lost its impact. The police who were in charge of torturing me in this way were shocked. They reported to their superior officers. They then switched me to another cell. I had come out on the other side of this horrible experience. Before I was locked in cell #25, I was told that if anybody was locked in that cell, he or she would have no chance to survive at all and would die quietly.

I wanted to go home, but what I actually received was a longer prison term. I then realized that the prison was not the place where I should remain and that I should not acknowledge this sentence. I asked for help from Teacher. One cellmate was released soon after. I asked him to send a letter to my family members and have them come to request my release. Three days later, I was set free. I understand that it is Teacher who saved me with compassion.

After I was home, I gradually realized that the reason why I was persecuted was because I had not obtained a deep understanding of the Fa. When I was still recovering and in a weakened condition, a village official led a group of people to my home to force me to pay fines. I was in such a poor situation due to the persecution that I had nothing to my name. How could I pay them? But a village official said that I could borrow money to pay the bill and I just needed to stamp the contract. I told them that I would be unable to repay the money. A village official said they would not mind. Later on I realized that this was wrong. I had been deceived. When I went to the local government to clarify my arguments, I was told that the loan receipt was evidence and whoever borrowed money should pay it back. If I could not repay the loan, they would take away my livestock. I firmly believe that the CCP is not trustworthy at all. Whoever believes them will have big disasters in store for them.

I also realized that it is not enough to just do the Falun Gong exercises. Practitioners should keep studying the Fa. I stepped out of my mistaken notions. Whenever I met with problems, I always sat down and read the Fa. Each time when I studied the Fa, I felt as if Teacher was teaching me personally, pointing out the reason why I was wrong and disclosing what I should know during different periods of my cultivation. Before I could reach such a status, I was given two options - "choose" or "give up." Only if we give up the old universe's principles can we improve in our understandings. Sticking to one kind of thought prevents our cultivation from moving forward. I realized that Zhuan Falun is the source of the Fa and the exercises, and that studying the Fa well is the basic prerequisite for doing the three things well.

Sometimes I validated Dafa while I was thinking about my work. When I focused more of my attention on my job, I would become too busy to speak out the truth of Falun Dafa to the public. I felt very confused and strange because I would be assigned more jobs to do while I was already very busy. Later on I realized that this was one kind of persecution arranged by the old forces and that a practitioner may be forced to take other people's hardships as his or her own. How can we let the old forces blame us for not doing this thing or that thing well? Understanding this, I declined to take on any work not belonging to me. After that, I was not as busy as before.

The old forces regard the persecution of cultivators as right. But it is wrong if measured with the criteria of Dafa. Fa-rectification is to correct those wrong notions instead of going along with the persecution. If I suffered a beating because I wanted to be a good person, those who beat me committed a crime. We will not allow anybody to attack good and kind-hearted people. This is also a way to save those who have attempted to commit these horrible crimes. Why do good people suffer from being beaten and tortured? This results from the long-term persecution of good people under the CCP's rule. Therefore, clarifying the truth, exposing the persecution, and eliminating the CCP's evil forces are the most urgent jobs to do in order to save sentient beings. These are also Dafa practitioners' historical missions.