(Clearwisdom.net)

In early May 2000, I joined the group arranged by the Party to participate in a Hong Kong parade. It was an immensely damaging act against Dafa. Although few people participated, many media came, and we created a very bad effect in society. Because of my lack of understanding of the principles of Falun Dafa, together with my immense attachments, I followed along with a fellow Macao practitioner's enlightenment along a deviant path and accepted her as my teacher. I feel extremely regretful and shameful because of my unwise actions. I was living in Hong Kong at the time. In order to be able to stay in Hong Kong and to keep the immigration department from sending me back, I helped stage the "July 21" incident. It was broadcast by the western media, creating extremely negative effects around the globe and causing unrecoverable damages against Dafa.

In August of 2000, I went to Beijing. In late August, I was arrested while handing out materials that were against the principles of Falun Dafa, written by that wretch in Hong Kong that I had wrongly taken as my teacher. I was sent to the Beijing Xicheng Detention Center. I was still confused and on a deviant path, and spread similar articles to practitioners in the detention center, which caused two practitioners to go astray. I feel extremely regretful about my actions there too. I was unconstitutionally detained for three months in Xicheng Detention Center, and later was sentenced to one year of forced labor. In early December the authorities sent me to the Tuanhe Relocation Center. There were many practitioners locked up there. We didn't have any rights or freedom. We weren't allowed to talk, wash our clothes or shower; we had no dignity. We had to report if we wanted to leave the room, we were forced to squat if we said anything inappropriate, we couldn't close the door during winter, we had to eat on the floor, we had to work, and when we did not work, we had to sit on short stools. The guards would beat us if we didn't sit up straight, etc. It was hell on earth, and we had no basic human dignity.

Half a month later, I was sent to the Beijing Xinan Labor Camp. As soon as I was settled in, they started brainwashing me. Those who did the brainwashing were former Falun Dafa practitioners who had enlightened along an evil path. Three to four people would surround a practitioner and keep on repeating their deviated understandings. They would let you sleep only if you wrote the "Three Statements" (1). If you refused, they wouldn't let you sleep and they would make you squat and stand, force you to watch defamatory videos against Dafa and force you to write Party principles, etc. For those who refused to be brainwashed they would send them to the "Collective Training Group." I couldn't differentiate right from wrong, and accepted their brainwashing, and I helped them carry out many bad deeds. Because the labor camp wasn't that big, and couldn't contain too many people, they held brainwashing classes in the labor camp. They forcefully took practitioners from their homes according to their districts; many were deceived into coming to the brainwashing class. Each class lasted for fifteen days. Those who refused to give in had to stay longer, and if they still refused, they were sent to labor camps. The number of people sent in each session was different, and they were divided equally among the different groups. Each group would send someone who had enlightened along an evil path to do the brainwashing; I was one of them. I caused a few practitioners to follow the evil path. I hate what I've done. Once a news reporter came to interview us, and I was one of the interviewees. I spread my evil understandings in the media, and created an extremely bad effect, and once again caused unrecoverable damage against the Fa rectification.

During the fifteen months from May of 2000 to August of 2001, my sins were as large as the mountains. I feel shameful towards myself, towards Teacher Li and sentient beings, and I feel unworthy to see Teacher Li. A life like mine has no right to cultivate again. I have asked myself many times why I am such pitiful person. I feel great pain regarding what I've done. These fifteen months have been very painful for me. I hereby declare: all the things that I've said, thought of, written and done, that aren't in accordance with the standard of Dafa, are null and void. I will completely refuse the old force's plans and redouble my efforts to compensate for the damages I've committed against Dafa.

By Cheng Yaqiong, April 9, 2004

http://www.minghui.ca/mh/articles/2004/4/14/72283.html

(1) The "Three Statements": Practitioners are coerced under brainwashing and torture to write these as proof that they have given up their belief. The three statements consist of a letter of repentance, a guarantee to never again practice Falun Gong, and a list of names and addresses of all family members, friends and acquaintances who are practitioners.

I haven't been diligent in Fa study. I always made sure I read an appropriate quantity but I did not care enough about the quality of my understanding. I didn't make the connection between Fa study and cultivation of my xinxing [mind-heart nature, moral character] as being interrelated. There were many problems that I didn't take care of. Sometimes the interference was huge during my Fa study, and I didn't take that limited time to study the Fa well. My xinxing was deteriorating, and I didn't treasure my opportunity to cultivate. In validating Dafa, I slowly mixed ordinary people's passion and methods used at their jobs with my method of cultivation. I didn't realize that I had fundamental attachments. When facing many problems caused by my attachments, I didn't look within myself. Instead, I tried to find fault in others. In validating Dafa and bringing salvation to the sentient beings, I had many attachments. Hence I took some sidesteps in the process, created pressure for fellow practitioners and created negative effects against Dafa. I was in trouble, but I forgot that cultivation during Fa-rectification requires us to think of others, become selfless and to put others first. I forgot the Fa-rectification practitioner's special historic mission. I thought of giving up while I was in tribulation and forgot what Teacher has gone through for us, his dedication and his hope for the sentient beings. I hereby solemnly declare that, since July 20, 1999, all the things that I've done that aren't in accordance with the standard of Dafa in my company and in the police department's forced brainwashing classes are null and void. I will redouble my effort and compensate for the damages I've committed against Dafa. I will cultivate until the end.

By: Xie Sufen, March 16, 2004

http://www.minghui.ca/mh/articles/2004/4/15/72351.html