(Clearwisdom.net) I am a Dafa practitioner who obtained the Fa in jail. Back then, prior to 1999, Dafa was spreading widely and one of the jail guards was a Dafa practitioner. Because he spread the Fa in jail, more than 30 of the incarcerated people were studying the Fa. At that time I didn't believe the existence of gods and Buddhas at all. I reluctantly accepted three books other people loaned me: Zhuan Falun, Lecture in Sydney and The Great Consummation Way of Falun Dafa.
When I read Zhuan Falun, I skipped over things I didn't believe and finished reading in one day. Although I didn't read it carefully, some words in the book struck my heart. Later, I practiced the fifth exercise according to the The Great Consummation Way of Falun Dafa. When I practiced the "strengthening" postures for the first time, I suddenly felt I could not move my body and was aware of a strong energy between my hands, and my hand would jump up if I pressed it.
I was very excited and a little afraid. I thought, "Is everything in that book true?" After doing the exercises I took out Zhuan Falun and read it until midnight. The next morning I couldn't wait to pick up the The Great Consummation Way of Falun Dafa. I was stunned when I opened the book, for I saw each of the characters in golden color, as if they were written with gold. When I opened Zhuan Falun, it was emitting all kinds of colors. I grew calm as I looked at the books and I said to myself, "This is what I have been looking for; this is my home!"
From then on I studied the Fa and did the exercises every day, treated myself as a practitioner, and at all times conducted myself according to the Fa.
Jail is quite different from the outside. I didn't have an exercise cassette and could not join a practice site. The guard-practitioner, in his spare time, gathered prisoner practitioners together and put us in an instruction room where we exchanged experiences, and I greatly improved. I used the computer I was in charge of (I was working in the computer room in prison) to print many of Master's lectures and Dafa materials and distributed them among the practitioners. Every time Master's lectures came out, the guard-practitioner always gave them to me and asked me to set type, print and distribute them among the other practitioners. I gave ten to each cell with more than 50 people. Whoever wanted to read it could read it. Those who wanted to practice received free books. Seventy to eighty people practiced Dafa. Nearly 1,000 people read Dafa books.
After April 25th, 1999, the atmosphere in jail tightened up. All Falun Gong books were confiscated and prisoners were not allowed to practice. Those who violated the rules were severely punished. In order to avoid loss for Dafa, I took back all Dafa books I gave out, but I didn't take back books from those who wished to keep them. Only a small portion of people dared to keep the books, because if they were found to have a Dafa book, their jail term would be extended. I gave the books to the guard-practitioner and asked him to take good care of them. I kept one book for myself. In the following two months, only a few people were practicing, and did so in secret. During that time, I practiced only at 3:00 or 4:00 a.m. every day. Guards and prisoners monitored everyone in the jail 24 hours a day, and several times I was caught doing Dafa exercises. Because we were acquaintances, I was not punished.
Master said, "The great waves sift the sand, and that is what cultivation practice is all about. What is left in the end will be genuine gold" (Zhuan Falun). As I studied the Fa constantly, I learned more and more Fa principles. I deeply understood that the path before me had become more difficult. I must give up my attachment to the jail term, to my reunion with my family, to my vanity of being a powerful person among ordinary people and to my fear of the various punishments used in jail. Master said, "In dealing with relevant, important matters, if a life can really assess things without any preconceived notions, then this person is truly able to take charge of himself. This clearheadedness is wisdom, and it is different from what average people call 'intelligence.'" ("For Whom do You Exist?" Essentials For Further Advancement).
I wanted to take charge of myself; my life must exist for the Buddha Fa, the Truth! As my determination grew stronger, my attachments to ordinary people's concerns decreased. I changed my secret ways and practiced and studied openly. During this time, the head person in charge often spoke to me and asked me to consider the consequences. I said firmly, "Nothing can make me give up the Buddha Fa, the Truth!" The head guard didn't say anything and walked away.
After July 20th, 1999, the evil was enveloping the earth and the guards seemed to have become different people. The jail officials issued an order to build a special profile with the names of prisoners who are now practicing and used to practice Dafa. I was the first one to be reported. The chief of the education division said to me, "You can't practice Falun Gong anymore. This is an order!" My heart pounded and I was very afraid, but I recited in my heart, "When it's difficult to endure, you can endure it. When it's impossible to do, you can do it." (Zhuan Falun) I braced myself and said, "I can't give up the practice. I am not wrong." The chief was furious because no prisoner in jail dared to talk back to him. He slapped my face and ordered all prisoners who used to practice Falun Gong to be assembled. He asked everyone, "Who wants to practice Falun Gong? Is there anyone who can't give up the practice?" Although I was quite afraid, I knew this was a test I must pass, for the evil was testing Dafa practitioners. I took two steps forward and said, "I can't give up!"
The chief's face grew red with anger. They confiscated all of my Dafa materials, including a hand-copied version of Zhuan Falun and other scriptures. That evening I was detained in a solitary confinement cell. My heart quickly calmed down and I realized I passed the test, although not very well. Several days later, persons from the Education Division sent for me for interrogation and they deleted everything in my computer. I was transferred to the jail group made up of old, weak and disabled prisoners. During this time I became acquainted with fellow practitioner Wang. From then on, together we continued on the difficult path of cultivation and Fa-rectification.
In early 2000, I was reported for studying the Fa and doing the exercises and was detained in solitary confinement along with practitioner Wang. The jail authorities planned to extend our terms and were preparing evidence for the extension. I was on good terms with the chief of the politics division and Wang was friends with the chief of investigation division. The two chiefs often advised us. We wrote a guarantee statement promising we would temporarily stop practicing and were thus released from solitary confinement.
Afterwards, Wang and I both regretted our decision. We were in the right! Why did we write such a guarantee? Wasn't that ordinary people's fear? We must firmly eliminate it if we discover something similar! We discussed this and began practicing. Beginning from 2000, we were basically cut off from the outside and couldn't get Master's scriptures and books. We were again sent to solitary confinement in March 2000. This time my heart was very calm. When the jail officials sent people to order me to write a guarantee statement, I refused to write it and was detained for more than one month. I was not again told to write a guarantee statement and was unconditionally released from solitary confinement. I was transferred to Brigade One and separated from Wang, but we would often see each other.
In August 2000, my mother visited me and gave me two of Master's lectures. Several days later, the guard practitioner who was suspended from his post took a risk and gave me another two of Master's lectures. After reading them I deeply felt that as a Dafa practitioner, I cannot remain aloof when Dafa is being attacked by vicious slanders. I should step forward, validate Dafa, clarify the truth and go to Beijing! I should go to Tiananmen Square and clarify the truth to everyone in the world! I had just realized why practitioners went to Tiananmen Square. But what if I can't get out of jail? I should still do everything I could for Dafa! I decided to write an appeal letter. Although I realized that the jail would not send it out for me, I must let everyone see Dafa practitioners' persistence for the Truth! I wrote an "open letter" and voiced my heartfelt wishes. I told everyone, "Falun Dafa is righteous. The news media is concocting lies and deceiving people!"
I handed in the letter and the officials were scared. They sent people to monitor me closely and suddenly inspected all of my belongings. They confiscated Master's lectures and again sent Wang and me to solitary confinement on August 30, 2000. We wore shackles and our hands were stretched with handcuffs. We were fixed on a metal bed, also called the "Dead Person's Bed."* I was tortured for four months, until the Chinese New Year. During this time we suffered heat, cold and hunger, but our hearts were determined like iron. The guards who monitored us admired us and said, "Falun Gong practitioners are great!"
During these four months, we were forced to listen to the propaganda in the newspaper and were criticized in the mass meetings. The directors of the Prison Administration Bureau were finally going to extend our prison terms. I did not feel threatened and immediately said sternly to them, "I will keep practicing Dafa to the end. All the media are spreading lies and framing Dafa. Do what you want. As Dafa practitioners, we would not even frown." At last, the two directors even admitted, "We know you are not afraid." Since there were no proper rules applying to our situation, the evil finally gave up torturing us. After the Spring Festival we were released from solitary confinement, but were strictly monitored around the clock. During those two years from 2001 to 2002, I didn't hear anything from the outside and didn't read even a chapter of Zhuan Falun. Two years passed under close observation. I could strongly feel the interference from everyday people in those 24 months, and the mentalities of everyday people inside me kept surfacing, just like soaking in a big dye vat. I couldn't study the Fa and couldn't practice the exercises. I felt very upset. My prison term was extended two more years. During these two years, whenever someone curious asked about Falun Gong, I would tell him the truth.
After Changchun practitioners clarified the truth about the "Self-Immolation in Tiananmen Square" incident through cable TV on March 5, 2002, which I didn't see, we were required to write the "Four Statements."* I firmly refused. On March 25, fellow practitioner Wang and I once again were confined to solitaire. I was there until July 8 when I was transferred to the Jilin Prison.
I was assigned to Division No.1. Just like they do to other practitioners, five common prisoners immediately began watching me closely around the clock. Before I attained the Fa, I was in charge of managing other prisoners. I had been in prison for over eight years then and was very familiar with the prison environment. Prison police and other prisoners, therefore, were not so strict with me, which gave me opportunities to meet fellow practitioners. It was the first time for me to contact practitioners from the outside.
As mentioned above, five or six prisoners watched each practitioner and tortured them with all kinds of methods, such as the "sitting board," sitting with both legs closed and stretched straight out, with the back straight and eyes open. Normally, practitioners would be forced to sit from 5:30 A.M. to 7:30 P.M, sometimes to 10:00 P.M. The practitioner would suffer brutal beatings and kicking if he shook even a little bit. After suffering such a treatment for a while, the Dafa practitioners would be forced to write the "Four Statements." Those who refused to do so would suffer inhuman tortures. Some evil police officers even openly told the prisoners who were in charge of monitoring Dafa practitioners, "I don't care what you do. If you don't write the 'four statements' before the deadline, you all will suffer the consequences."
Receiving such instructions from the police, those criminals who committed countless crimes would jump eagerly at the chance to brutally torture Dafa practitioners. Some would push practitioners and use four people to hold them down, and brutally beat the practitioner with a board that was 25-30 inches wide, 70-80 inches long and 2-3 inches thick, from top of the head to the end of the toes. The criminals would repeat it every 15 minutes. Many practitioners were beaten so severely, showing bruises and cuts all over their bodies and backs, covered with black and blue marks, and needing two or three people to help them go to the bathroom. Some would not allow practitioners to sleep for seven or eight consecutive days. Some would hold the practitioner and scrape the bottom of his feet. Some would practice boxing on the practitioner at midnight, four and five people together. Some would lock the practitioner's feet and hands to the iron ring on the bed and then squeeze wooden rods, glass bottles and other stuff under the waist and back of the practitioners. Many practitioners were injured or even disable due to these brutal tortures. The whole prison was full of evils.
Later the police ordered me to write the "Four Statements" as well. I was influenced by everyday people's thoughts, such as "I was not asked to do anything against Dafa; my term would be ended in two or three months; I might be sent to the labor camp again." I agreed to their request and again wrote the "Four Statements" at that time. The next day, I felt like I was sick, which made me realize I made a serious mistake. After sharing my thoughts with fellow practitioners, I decided to remedy the damage and immediately wrote a declaration to claim the previous statements to be invalid. When I tried to hand in my declaration to those officials, nobody wanted to see me. They told the prisoners to watch me closely. I was very regretful at that time and cooperated with the evil in a muddleheaded state. Later, on December 30, I was released ahead of schedule.
Back home, I got to read Master's lectures and books, Essentials for Further Advancement, Guiding the Voyage, Touring North America to Teach the Fa, and "Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Philadelphia, U.S.A." Then I realized how serious a mistake I made. Master said, "As a Dafa disciple, everything of yours is formed by Dafa and is the most righteous, and it can only be that [you] rectify everything that is not righteous. How could you bow to the evil? How could you promise something to the evil? Even if it doesn't truly come from your heart, it's still giving in to the evil. This is bad conduct for humans, too, and Gods absolutely would not do such a thing." ("Dafa is Indestructible" from Essentials for Further Advancement II) Every word of Master seemed to be stabbing deep into the bottom of my heart, like a steel needle, and made me realize the solemnity of cultivation and how wonderful and magnificent Fa-rectification truly is.
Dafa gave me a new life! Dafa made me enlighten to the principles of the universe! In studying the Fa, sending forth righteous thoughts and clarifying the truth, I will solidly do well on each step and be worthy of our mighty Master, be worthy of the millions of years waiting, to those sentient beings who are looking upon me.
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*In the torture called "Dead Person's Bed," the four limbs of the practitioner are stretched out and tied to the four corners of an icy-cold metal bed. The practitioner is unable to move. Neither is he allowed to get up to eat, drink or go to the bathroom. This treatment would last from several hours up to more than two weeks. This type of cruel torture causes the practitioner severe mental and physical harm.
*) The "Four Statements" require of a Dafa practitioner to promise to give up Dafa practice, express regret for ever having practiced Dafa, promise not to go to Beijing to appeal, have no further contact with other practitioners and reveal their names and whereabouts.