Friday, February 7, 2003

After Falun Gong was outlawed in China in 1999 and the persecution had begun, I started relatively quickly to explain the facts behind the persecution at the hands of Jiang's regime and his slander to people around me. Since no other practitioners lived close to me, I had to plan all activities on my own and carry them out by myself. I did everything alone -- establish contact with politicians, the media, introduce Dafa to the public, and arrange various events. Frequently I was successful and attributed that to the fact that I was not subject to group deliberations that could hinder me. I always arrived at decisions quickly, did not have to defer to anyone or be plagued by lengthy discussions, whether this is or that is the correct approach, and other considerations.

At the same time I kept in contact with many other practitioners and participated in their group exercises and supported their activities. But I had not understood the deeper meaning behind all these happenings. I always calculated whether or not I had enough money to travel to their places, or if it is really worth it. And underlying this was always the fear that this would cut into the time I had set aside for my own activities if I supported them in theirs. Whenever I supported them in one of their activities, the thoughts "do I have enough time for my own contacts to politicians and the media, I don't want to neglect them, " popped into my head, and another thought, that I had not devoted sufficient time to my own region. That mentality reached the point where I even criticized practitioners who were helping me, to examine themselves if they should not spend the time helping me in their own geographical areas instead, before they considered to help others in dealing with their efforts.

When problems arose, I often thought that this is due to the practitioners who had not cultivated themselves well enough; they were creating the difficulties, that this is why their surroundings are not good. At the same time, the atmosphere in my general area was harmonious. Then I thought that I am much faster than them, my surroundings are always harmonious, and I have to wait for them again to get going, those who are not keeping pace with the Fa-rectification. It had never occurred to me that I was needed precisely in their realm.

On the other hand, I noticed more and more that something in my thinking pattern was incorrect. And time after time I would read in the Dafa literature that Master speaks of us to become one body. During His Fa-lecture at the Conference in Washington, D.C., He said, "You are one body, just like Master's gong."

With these realizations I attempted to get off my high horse and begun, more and more, to participate in mutual projects and to exchange experiences with others. I considered that a necessity and a prerequisite to become closer with others and be part of that gong, to help Master with Fa-rectification. And yet, I only comprehended this on a cognitive level and had not internalized it. When overwhelming demands from practitioners, to correct texts, for instance, came at me, I again experienced fear that my own contacts with politicians would suffer, or that I had not enough time left to spend with my family. How am I supposed to reach fulfillment in my own world, become a great god, when others constantly interfere with my process? It was a cycle I could not break.

But I was determined to break it. I wanted to raise my level, wanted to measure up to Master's requests, wanted to keep pace with the Fa-rectification. With other practitioners, I initiated a post card campaign to rescue Xiong Wei. I had much coordination work to absolve; questions flew at me from all directions: when is the card read? How much does it cost? What does the card look like? Lots of confusion!

I spent many days distributing post cards and flyers to practitioners, numerous days during which I was unable to accomplish any other Dafa work. At first I thought that this is the evil energy sabotaging my own Dafa work, such sabotage that makes it possible for me to waste so much time on unimportant things and the "important" work has to wait. But then I realized something -- no task is menial or higher than this. That former mindset was something entrenched in my bones from years of living in common people's society. Common people always hold the opinion that one has to further one's own issues and abilities. That becomes evident even during childhood, when the adults scrutinize a child's abilities to nurture them.

This mindset was like a rigid shell surrounding me and had kept me prisoner. Now I feel light and full of energy, as if I had come a bit closer to the cosmic principles of Truthfulness, Compassion and Tolerance. I then read Master's lecture at the conference in 2002 in Philadelphia where He says,

"If you're thinking, 'I'll have XYZ happen to me if I've gained such and such amount of merit,' well, yes, that's how it works for an ordinary person, and it might be what's looked at as far as certain facets of the cosmos's Fa-truths go or in a particular situation. But true improvements come from letting go, not from gaining."

That urged me more and more to view my fellow practitioners as [potential] gods, all busy, to manage a particular portion of the universe, at the moment being around here for the purpose of Fa-rectification and to fulfill their vows. Master had said,

"Actually, did you know that those Great Enlightened Beings have a lot of things in the heavens that they too need to coordinate and discuss with each other?"

("Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Philadelphia, U.S.A.")

I see that this way -- We offer salvation to all sentient beings in our heavenly sphere, but at the same time are assisting Master with Fa-rectification. What precluded that we coordinate and work well with each other?

"Also, if there's something lacking in it they'll unconditionally and quietly supplement it to make things more complete and perfect. That's how they handle things." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Philadelphia, U.S.A.")

I realized then that my ideas to push my activities into the foreground had been a huge attachment, to only work in my city, in my area, and to do it well. That notion was like a wall that had separated me from working together with others, prevented me from being an effective part of the one body. I had in mind only "my politicians, my media, my practice group, my geographical surroundings," had harmonized them, and had waited for the others to catch up. It finally dawned on me that the others had waited for me to finally join them and become part of the whole and dissolve into the gong. We must do that which needs doing, and not pick and choose how something ought to be rescued. Master said, again in Philadelphia,

"How could someone who's to be saved choose how he's saved? It's like he falls into water and someone tries to save him, but he says: 'You can't save me directly with your hands. You have to save me with a boat that I like.' How could that be?"

I realized the importance to participate in large-scale activities, such as sending righteous thoughts in front of consulates and embassies. That was no longer for debate. The evil does concentrate in those cities that have consulates and embassies and not in my small city. I was needed there, in those larger cities. It was there I could do my part to eliminate the evil. That why I drove to Munich last week and helped to send righteous thoughts in front of the consulate. It was a great feeling, almost as if all the deities in Munich had called to me, "come and help us; we have a bid job to do and we need reinforcements."

(Translated from the German)