Sometimes I find that I'm too busy to study the Fa [The books of Falun Gong], practice the exercises and send forth righteous thoughts every day. Therefore, my xinxing problems become more and more prominent. Sometimes I enlighten to the problems, but I'm not willing to get rid of them naturally. When I encounter a conflict, my xinxing [moral standard, heart-nature] drops down. One day, while my mind was calm, I read Master Li's latest article "Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Philadelphia, U.S.A." and Essentials for Further Advancement over and over again. I then found that the attachment of pride, which prevented me from looking inside myself, was keeping me from elevating.
Actually, no matter what activities for Dafa we're undertaking, we cannot on the surface say, "I am responsible for Dafa" to cover up the attachments which need to be eliminated by every Dafa disciple. Everyone understands this point, but it's unavoidable to have problems when it is put into action. To enlighten to this is actually to put more emphasis on personal matters, and put Dafa into the second place imperceptibly. Take myself as an example; at the beginning I valued my opinions. Although I didn't say anything on the surface, I still would think to myself "Others' ideas are not as good as mine." Even worse, I made excuses deep down, like "This [my standpoint] is from the Fa," or "I can't affect the result of the one body." Later, although I realized my mistake and dared to admit it, I still felt uncomfortable in my heart. Looking inside deeper, it is the attachment of pride. I wondered if anyone had noticed my attachment, which was revealed earlier. Thinking about it, I feel it's really ridiculous. My mind was blocked all that time, and I had already forgotten Dafa. My thoughts were full of "What I am and how I am," etc. Recognizing that I have so many attachments, I immediately studied the Fa and sent forth righteous thoughts; eliminating the bad thought karma, bad notions and external interference. After this, my heart felt more comfortable, and didn't have the burden that I had before. What I began thinking was to walk a righteous path and improve holistically.
After this, when I discussed with a fellow practitioner and heard how he had to do a lot of activities for Dafa after doing his part-time job every night, my tears welled up. I was dissatisfied with others previously, but have I done very well? Then I thought, "Why do fellow practitioners complain to each other? We should all look at ourselves first." I felt we had good relationships, therefore we felt embarrassed to point out our shortcomings to each other. Perhaps we feel that others cultivate very well and can understand the situation by themselves; in that case I would only look inside myself. Actually it is not contradictory to look inside ourselves when pointing out others' shortcomings. Of course, we need to look inside ourselves first and recognize our own shortcomings. However, when others are stuck at a level, if we might know the reason, why don't we tell them in order to help them improve? I enlightened to the fact that the bad notions and karma exposed in ourselves are connected. The evil sees very clearly and will persecute us severely. They won't give up even if there's only one practitioner with insufficient righteous thoughts. However, Master Li has emphasized many times that we don't acknowledge the old forces, and we don't accept their arrangement. This requires Dafa disciples to form one body. Suppose that all practitioners can put others before themselves, think more kindly of other practitioners, and if they have shortcomings, tell them honestly instead of talking about them behind their backs. If this is the case, what excuse can the old forces find to persecute our fellow practitioners at will? Fa-rectification efforts will be done easier and sooner with better effects and our Xinxing will be upgraded
At first when I encountered these conflicts and difficulties, I didn't want to participate too much. That was irresponsible to Dafa, fellow practitioners and myself. I should think about how chances have been arranged over and over again for us to save sentient beings, eliminate the evil, let us constantly get rid of the bad substances in our bodies as well as establish our mighty virtue at the same time. I should be thinking about those sentient beings that have been deceived. Shouldn't we hurry up to save them? We are practitioners from the same school, and we all consummate our path of rectifying the Fa together. We should help each other do better.
Above is only my personal enlightenment, please kindly point out the shortcomings and correct them.