December 3, 2001
I was illegally arrested on December 31, 2000 in Tiananmen Square in Beijing. On March 1, 2001, I was illegally detained and sentenced to the Chatou Forced Labor Camp in Guangzhou City, Guangdong Province for one year. In the forced labor camp, many practitioners were being brainwashed. Because I did not give in, I became the target of a so-called "stronghold attack" from May 15 to May 18 of this year. During this period of time I was isolated in a room and closely watched. Everyday, besides writing a so-called "thinking report," I had to accept the so-called "citizen education." I was allowed to take a shower, but I could not take a single step out of the room or have contact or conversation with anyone outside the room.
There were many illegal rules set up by the civilian disciplinary committee in the labor camp. Dafa practitioner's personal items, including letters and writings, could be examined at any time. By the sleeping time every evening, some twenty brainwashed practitioners would come over and perform a "stronghold attack" on those of us who remained firm, and we were not allowed to go to sleep. It was at these times that I became unclear and my main consciousness started to get confused. Sometimes I was not allowed to sleep until 12am, 2am, or even 4am, while some other practitioners were not allowed to sleep for 2 days and 2 nights. The brain could not function properly at all like this, and this was exactly the effect that the brainwashed practitioners wanted to achieve. They wanted to confuse our thinking and then push in a set of evil understandings that seemed to make sense. Day and night, they tortured me without stopping because they knew that if there was any break, a righteous thought would come out to determine right from wrong and their methods would not work. Under the external coercion and my own fear, I wrote the shameful "three statements (promising to stop practicing Falun Gong)."
Every practitioner's true understanding of the Fa from his or her heart and their first hand experience in genuine cultivation practice cannot be erased. Those who go to the opposite side of Dafa and desert Dafa are full of lies, and they don't even meet the standard of everyday people. My believing their absurd and irrational words not only temporarily harmed the reputation of Dafa, but truly damaged and may have even destroyed the innocent people's predestined chance at attaining the Fa.
Afterwards, I deeply regretted the action I took in betraying Dafa. I worried that because of my mistake, the people around me, like my family members, co-workers, friends, and everyone else who heard about this incident, would misunderstand Dafa and lose their opportunity to obtain Dafa and be saved. Here, I wish I can explain what really happened in the brainwashing class and declare that during that period of time what I said and wrote were not the true feelings from my heart. All of them are hereby invalid.
I truly realized that: letting go of cultivation is not "being at a higher level" as described by those transformed practitioners. In fact, if doing so, one becomes even worse than everyday people. I need to fully make up for the losses I brought to Dafa, and will wash away my evil karma by doubling my efforts of clarifying the truth. I will reverse the bad effect I had on the worldly people due to going along with the evil in betraying Dafa.