15. Rising from the Depths

  By a Chinese American practitioner in the U.S.   

  I am a 26-year-old man, and I want to talk about my experiences after I began practicing Falun Dafa. I was a typical young Chinese American from California. My whole family immigrated to the United States in 1989 from the southern part of China. After I arrived here, I gradually changed into someone that wasn't recognizable as me at all. For example, I took up smoking, drinking, and going to nightclubs. I even got involved with a group of gangsters in Chinatown. Fortunately I did not commit any crimes involving fighting or shooting, although I used some fake credit cards to buy expensive things and stole change from parking meters.   

 

    In 1997 or 1998 when I was doing nothing, I went to the library one day and spotted a golden book called Zhuan Falun. I was interested because I had heard about it before, even though I didn't remember from where, so I checked the book out along with the exercise video. At first I thought it would be a really complicated book, but it was not. Instead, it used the most common language, yet contained the most profound explanations of the universe. I was really amazed and full of wonder at the book. I started reading it and finished it within days. At the time, I did not completely believe everything it contained, but I knew it was really good, so I started practicing some and following the requirements with respect to elevating my character. But I was a typical, lazy person, so I couldn't keep practicing every day. Eventually I stopped altogether.   In 1999 I watched the news on Chinese TV when China started persecuting Falun Dafa. I didn't believe the news from China at all, but due to the very limited understanding I had gained, for a very short time I had some doubts about Dafa. But after I read the book again, I couldn't find anything bad in it at all!it was a pure book from Heaven. However, human beings have a lot of reasons and attachments to give themselves all kinds of excuses not to follow the Fa. I was like this.   

  In the next two or three years, I took up another really bad habit: smoking marijuana. I don't know why, but I didn't want to face reality anymore, and marijuana gave me that escape. I felt so happy and detached when I smoked, and in my deluded state of mind, sometimes even wondered if this was what achieving Enlightenment was like. In the beginning I smoked once a month, then it was once a week, then once every couple of days, until finally I found myself smoking marijuana every day! Eventually I spent all my money. I knew it had to stop, but instead I stole money from my parents to buy more marijuana, while telling myself that I would stop after just one more time. But who was I kidding? I ended up smoking marijuana non-stop every day for almost two years.  

 

    One day I had spent all my money, including the money I had stolen from my parents. I knew that if I didn't stop right away, it was all over for me, so I decided to put an end to this once and for all. I went online to the Clearwisdom.net website. After reading some of the new articles from Master Li and some from the students, I realized how selfish and how bad I was. I swore to myself I would start over again.   

  Since then, I read all the articles on the Clearwisdom website every day, do two hours of practice at night, and go to bed reading Zhuan Falun before I fall asleep. It was not easy the first day I started again, especially when I was doing the second exercise. Maybe I had been too lazy in the past, but sweat dripped from my forehead to my chin, as if my hands were lifting thousands of pounds. In my mind I kept telling myself to stop and leap onto the comfy bed, but visions appeared of the students in Mainland China practicing every day, even in jails, with the prisoners and the police beating them up! but did they quit? No! The words from the books of Master Li also appeared, telling me that practice is hard, and if I could not even endure these little hardships, how could I practice cultivation? Who was I kidding? Thus, I didn't stop my practice. I followed the Falun Dafa music and finished the whole two hours. It's been about a month since the day I decided to start practicing cultivation. During this time, the urge to smoke cigarettes and marijuana cropped up a couple of times, but I kept reading the articles from Clearwisdom and Zhuan Falun.   

  Another thing happened two days after I decided to start practicing cultivation again. My best friend called me to go out and smoke marijuana like we usually did. I went with him, but after we smoked, I was very regretful that I had done it again. I realized that this was a test and that I had failed. I decided to tell my friend that I had started practicing cultivation. I told him that I had quit smoking cigarettes and that I would not smoke marijuana again, that this was the last time. (It wasn¨t easy at that time for me.) He kind of understood what I was saying, because from that day on he hasn't called me again.   

  Before I typed up this article, I wasn¨t sure I would be able to do it. I also want to thank Master Li and express my respect and support for the students who are being persecuted in China. If it were not for Falun Dafa I would still be wasting my life, day after day.